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Monday, September 30, 2013

One dark night two men were walking home after a party

One dark night two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemeteryjust for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man...

With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything....

With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything......

If you love a flower, don’t pick

If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.So if you love a flower, let it be.Love is not about possession.Love is about appreciation...

“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”

“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation....

You can take the guy out of the gutter but not the gutter out of the guy...!

You can take the guy out of the gutter but not the gutter out of the guy......

A mother holds her children's hands for a short while, But their hearts forever...!

A mother holds her children's hands for a short while, But their hearts forever......

1. Buy a turtle 2. Name it "The speed of light"...

1. Buy a turtle 2. Name it "The speed of light" 3. Be able to honestly say I can run faster the speed of ligh...

Ek aurat chappal ki dukaan pe.

Wrong Size!!! Ek aurat chappal ki dukaan pe. Aurat: Bhaiya, ek chappal dikhao? Dukandaar: Number kya hai? Aurat: 36 Number. Dukandaar: Bhabhi Ji, dimag pe zor daalo aur soch ke batao ki kya lene aayi ho a...

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend. - Theophrastus

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.- Theophrastu...

Having a Facebook page is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.

Having a Facebook page is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in...

You text me, I respond 15 seconds later and apparently you die of excitement cause 2 hours later I'm still waiting for a response

You text me, I respond 15 seconds later and apparently you die of excitement cause 2 hours later I'm still waiting for a respons...

How 2 grow up a baby and make it smart, cute, funny & extremely intelligent..

How 2 grow up a baby and make it smart, cute, funny & extremely intelligent... . . . . . . . Ask My Parents....

Never give up on your dreams! Keep sleeping.

Never give up on your dreams! Keep sleeping...

My wish is "654321"6-digit salary5-Five working days.4-Four Wheeler car.3-Three Bedroom Flat.2-Two Cute Children.1-One Sweethear...

A Normal Person Prays To GOD " Don't Give Me Problems ".

A Normal Person Prays To GOD " Don't Give Me Problems ". But A Great Person Prays To GOD " Give Me Power To Face The Problems ...

According to my Facebook timeliness, nothing happened between the day I was born until the day I joined Facebook.

According to my Facebook timeliness, nothing happened between the day I was born until the day I joined Facebook...

ek Bus Mein Ek Jawan Madam Khadi Thi...

ek Bus Mein Ek Jawan Madam Khadi Thi... Pappu Ne Dekha Aur apni jagah se Khada Hokar Bola Pappu: “Mam, Aap Meri Jagah Pe Baith Jaiye” Madam Ne Ye Sunkar Use Zor Se Ek Thappad Lagaya, . . . Pappu: “Bhalai Ka To Zamana Hi Nahi Hai ” Pappu Rote Hue Dobara Apne Papa Ki Gaud Mein Beth Gay...

Sunday, September 29, 2013

We are so developed that all kids in our country can operate iPad.

USA :" We are so developed that all kids in our country can operate iPad. China: "Bitch please. Kids here know how to manufacture an iPad...

Why can't facebook be my job? I'm always on time.

Why can't facebook be my job? I'm always on time. I never call in sick.  I never complain about being there AND I work overtim...

Breathe if u want to...

Breathe if u want to date me *everyone holds their breath and dies* Forever Alo...

during a math test in my school days.

during a math test in my school days. me: my answer = 23 answer choices: 170, 195, 264, 362 me: well 170 is closest to 23, so that must be the answ...

Don't give up just because you had a bad day. Forgive yourself and do better tomorrow.

Don't give up just because you had a bad day. Forgive yourself and do better tomorrow....

When a person starts re-calling his past means he is oldie now

When a person starts re-calling his past means he is oldie now...

Not all snakes are in the forest. Sometimes, they're just there in your friend list

Not all snakes are in the forest. Sometimes, they're just there in your friend lis...

It looks like after the introduction of Whatsapp my SMS inbox is only there for my network operator..

It looks like after the introduction of Whatsapp my SMS inbox is only there for my network operator....

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Boy, can you tell me The one thing you'd rather...

Boy, can you tell me The one thing you'd rather die than lose? Cause mine would be y...

10 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and...

10 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon di...

Opposites attract, but they don't necessarily stay attracted.

Opposites attract, but they don't necessarily stay attracte...

Yar aj mujy ajeeb msg aya or mera mobile...

1stSrdar: Yar aj mujy ajeeb msg aya or mera mobile off ho gya 2nd Srdar:Kya likha tha.? Srdar: Battery low 2nd Srdar:mUjy sEnd kr, sb kO tAng krUn gA....

Wo konsa DEPARTMENT hy jis me ORAT kaam nhi kr sakti?

TEACHER: Wo konsa DEPARTMENT hy jis me ORAT kaam nhi kr sakti? STUDENT:FIRE BRIGADE. Techr:Q? Student:AURTON ka kaam AAG lgana hy bhujana na...

I never argue, I just explain why I'm right.!!!!!

I never argue, I just explain why I'm right.!!...

Duniya Chand Pe Pahuch Gayi Aur Tu Yahi

Railway toilet me likha tha: "Duniya Chand Pe Pahuch Gayi Aur Tu Yahi Baitha Hai..." mene niche likh ke aaya: "Chand pe pani nahi Esliye wapas aaya tha...Bas ja rha hu vap...

me: *puts earphones in*...

me: *puts earphones in* me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: oh right me: *plays musi...

Thanks GOD for allowing me to wake up on this morning allowing me to experience another day on this amazing Earth .

Thanks GOD for allowing me to wake up on this morning allowing me to experience another day on this amazing Earth...

"If I can give you anything, I would give you my eyes so you can realize how much special you are for me.

"If I can give you anything, I would give you my eyes so you can realize how much special you are for m...

People posting … Damn it’s October already? What the hell did you think came...

People posting … Damn it’s October already? What the hell did you think came after September ? September Jr...

Wife treats hubby by taking him to a Strip Club on his birthday!!

Wife treats hubby by taking him to a Strip Club on his birthday!! At The Club, The Doorman Says, "Hi Jim, How are You?" The wife asks, "How does he know you? Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him." Inside,the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?" Jim says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts Team." Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do You Crave the Special Again??" The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her & jumps into a taxi. The Taxi driver Says, "Hey Jimmy Boy! You picked up an ugly one this time.." . . . . Jim's Funeral...

Do you know that GRAVITY is stronger at ...

Do you know that GRAVITY is stronger at morning? ? ? ... ?? It is proven in the fact Its so hard to get up from the bed.. :P GOOD MORN...

Kaisa lgta hy..?Barasti baarish may

Kaisa lgta hy..? Barasti baarish may Hawa k jhonkon k sang Khamoshi se Chalte hue Koi apka hath thaam k Hoolay se keh de... "A swetar landay da paya ...

Beautiful Teacher: Agar main tumhari ammi hoti to...

Beautiful Teacher: Agar main tumhari ammi hoti to tumhain 2 din mein sudhaar deti. Student: Main 2, 3 din mein abbu se mashwara kar k batata ...

text game: mera dusra name rakho

mera dusra name rakho ______. But new name ap k name k last word se start ho na chahiy Send it to ur frnds & see ur many names. But reply me 1st...

In a partyPathan asked a girl:

In a party Pathan asked a girl: Aap Dance karain gi? . . . . . Larki khari ho kr: haan.. . . . Pathan: To main ap ki kursi Lay Lo...

Keya Khabar Thi K Chalay Gi Kabhi Aisi Bhi Hawa...

"Keya Khabar Thi K Chalay Gi Kabhi Aisi Bhi Hawa... "YAARO "K Khushk Patton Ki Tarha Hum Sab Dost Bikhar Jayein Gay......! Miss U frie...

Two places are Best to Stay in this world.

Two places are Best to Stay in this world. To be in Someone's Thoughts..! To be in Someone's heart..! Keep me in bot...

2014 ki amad per dil se dua h kApko hamari or hamey apki

2014 ki amad per dil se dua h k Apko hamari or hamey apki shadi k card jald se jald mosol hun.Aameen dua me hisa daal k agey brhaen regards (K.p)kunwari par...

only one person in the world can order a women to stop talking...

only one person in the world can order a women to stop talking and in reply she gives a smile to him............ ..and he is............. the photograph...

me: better check my phone for texts from...

me: better check my phone for texts from friends me: *checks phone* me: better get some friend...

I live for two reasons.

I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven't died ye...

"Success is not a miracle, but a product of productivity, positivity and persistent thinking" - Lawrence Mudau

"Success is not a miracle, but a product of productivity, positivity and persistent thinking" - Lawrence Mud...

Deadlines aren't bad. They help you organize your time. They help you set priorities. They make you get going when you might not feel like it !

Deadlines aren't bad. They help you organize your time. They help you set priorities. They make you get going when you might not feel like it ...

If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the...

"Unless you Speak from heart, you can't touch anyone's heart."

"Unless you Speak from heart, you can't touch anyone's heart...

Life will just not wait for us to live it: We are in it...

“Life will just not wait for us to live it: We are in it, now, and Now is the time to Liv...

Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn't have any solution...

Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn't have any solution, it's a............. . . . . . . . . . . . Wom...

I did 10 one arm push-ups this morning, I was trying...

I did 10 one arm push-ups this morning, I was trying to get up off of the floor without putting down my bee...

Awesome weather in...

Awesome weather in islamabad. Couples are dating & Singles are updatin...

“Focus on making yourself better, not on thinking that you are better.”

“Focus on making yourself better, not on thinking that you are better...

I'm that horrible friend who reads your text then puts...

I'm that horrible friend who reads your text then puts the phone down to do something and forgets to reply until 4 hours late...

Friday, September 27, 2013

Me and a random girl on Fb: Girl:- “You never smile na?”

Me and a random girl on Fb: Girl:- “You never smile na?” Me :- “How can you say this?” Girl:- "I've never seen your smiling pictures” . Me :- “ok then by that logic , you never Bath n...

My love is like a candle. If you...

My love is like a candle. If you forget me, I will burn your fucking house dow...

Some people are so important in our life, Not because we enjoy their company, but because we feel so lonely in their absence..

Some people are so important in our life, Not because we enjoy their company, but because we feel so lonely in their absence...

Ek shadi me ek ladka 1 ladki ko...

Ek shadi me ek ladka 1 ladki ko bahut dhyan se dekh rha tha .... Girl : -- impress hokar -- kyo dekh rhe ho itni der de - . . . . . Boy-- I was thinking agar aap meri mummy hoti to, . . . mai bhi kitna sundar ho...

I sent an angel to watch over you last night, it returned in a hurry

I sent an angel to watch over you last night, it returned in a hurry, I asked it why, it said "Angels can't watch porn" Thanks for traumatizing my f**king ang...

I heard, U are providing Free WIFE in the room?

A man 2 hotel Receptionist in the midnight- I heard, U are providing Free WIFE in the room? Receptionist: Sorry Sir, Its not "Free WIFE" Its "Free Wi-Fi...

Lazy fact #163275463190209857: you were too lazy to read that number.

Lazy fact #163275463190209857: you were too lazy to read that numbe...

now i realized it is not worth my time... i have to move on..

Ok now i realized it is not worth my time... i have to move on... have so many things to do... than to think about revenge... i will forget about everything... and be happy....

In the end you'll see who is fake, who is true and who would risk it all for you, and trust me, some people will totally surprise you.

In the end you'll see who is fake, who is true and who would risk it all for you, and trust me, some people will totally surprise yo...

Larka : Me aap se dosti karna chahta hon..

Larka : Me aap se dosti karna chahta hon..,,, MEh : Bhai Hamari dushmani kab thi.,,,,, (.")/ lo sari bat <)) hi khatam kardi _//_May nA. hahah...

A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.

A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct the...

In Africa A black boy to his black girl friend on a dark night near

In Africa A black boy to his black girl friend on a dark night near sea, asked in very romantic mood Darling . . . . . Plz smile Where r u....

Every man should always have a Cockroach somewhere in his bedroom ..... just for safety issues who knows ?

Every man should always have a Cockroach somewhere in his bedroom ..... just for safety issues who knows...

Girls buy a lot of footwear because : Instead of applying breaks, they skid their feet to stop the Scooty ......

Girls buy a lot of footwear because : Instead of applying breaks, they skid their feet to stop the Scooty ........

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of Shit...

Wife: tum ny shadi se pehle mujhay btaya q nahin k...

Wife: tum ny shadi se pehle mujhay btaya q nahin k tumhari 1 biwi hai jiska nam rani hai.. Husband: btaya to tha k shadi ke baad tumhen Rani jesa rakhun ga...

Santa in computer exam ; Examiner: What is Microsoft Excel ??

Santa in computer exam ; Examiner: What is Microsoft Excel ?? . . . . . . . . . Santa: It is a new branch of Surf Excel to clean the computer...

Student in a Hostel(dost se): Yaar dhokha ho gaya.

Student in a Hostel(dost se): Yaar dhokha ho gaya. Dost: Kyon kya hua? . student: bhai bura ho gya.. dost: are hua kya?? . student: are yar barbaad ho gya...loot gya dost: bhai izzat to ni gyi na... . . . . . . . Student: Maine papa se books ke liye paise mangawaye, papa ne books hi bhej di.....mai to loot gy...

I prefer to be broken with the ugly truth, than fall in love with your beautiful lies.

I prefer to be broken with the ugly truth, than fall in love with your beautiful lies....

Sheikh 8th fLoor se neeche...

Sheikh 8th fLoor se neeche gir gya Girte huwe kitchen ki window k pas phncha to apni BV ko dekh kar chiLaya . . . Shaguftaaaaaaaa meri ROTI na Pakaeeeeeee...

Let them miss you. Sometimes when you’re always available, they take you for granted because they think you’ll always stay.

Let them miss you. Sometimes when you’re always available, they take you for granted because they think you’ll always sta...

Most people want a perfect relationship.... I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.

Most people want a perfect relationship.... I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercial...

An elderly man in London calls his...

An elderly man in London calls his son in New York and says; 'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 50 years of marriage and that much misery is enough!' 'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams. 'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says. 'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about his, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!' Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. 'Like heck they're getting divorced,'...

Hope is wishing something would happen. Faith is believing it will happen. Courage is making it happen.

Hope is wishing something would happen. Faith is believing it will happen. Courage is making it happe...

They say: "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". The problem is, nowadays you can't tell them apart

They say: "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". The problem is, nowadays you can't tell them apa...

Thursday, September 26, 2013

"You know you are in the wrong neighborhood when your portable GPS says "Drive faster and put me under the seat"

"You know you are in the wrong neighborhood when your portable GPS says "Drive faster and put me under the seat"...

Wife (on phone) Suniye ji, window open nahi rahi hai.

Wife (on phone) Suniye ji, window open nahi rahi hai. . . . Husband- Aisa karo thoda tel garam kar ke us par daal do. . . . Wife - Kya usese kaam ho jayega. . . . Husband- Try to karo. After 15 mins , . . husband calls wife . . Husband- Tumne try kiya?? . . . Wife - Haan kiya, par ab laptop hi bandh ho gaya....

Never KISS a lady police,

Never KISS a lady police, She will say, hands up. Never KISS a lady doctor, She will say, Next please Always KISS a lady teacher, She will say, repeat it 5 tim...

Best Way to Propose A Girl.

Best Way to Propose A Girl. . . . . . Take her to the Sea, Ask her to sit In the Boat, . . . . take the boat in the middle Of the Sea,, . . . Then say her to marry you Or Leave Your Boat Right Now = P =...

جن رشتوں کی بیناد خلوص و محبت کے بجائے غرض اور خواہشات پر ہو، انکی حقیقت پانی کے بلبلے جیسی ہوتی ہے اور بلبلے کا کیا بنا، بن کر مٹ گیا

جن رشتوں کی بیناد خلوص و محبت کے بجائے غرض اور خواہشات پر ہو، انکی حقیقت پانی کے بلبلے جیسی ہوتی ہے اور بلبلے کا کیا بنا، بن کر مٹ گی...

how is your hearing now?

In a Dallas church one Sunday morning, a preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs'who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar." With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Leroy, and...

tell me who is STUPID?

Awesome Answer: Boss (angrily): tell me who is STUPID? . You or I? . . . Employee (calmly): Boss, everyone knows that you don't give jobs to STUPID peopl...

I always enjoy asking little kids what they wanna be when they grow up....cuz...

I always enjoy asking little kids what they wanna be when they grow up....cuz...you­ know.... I'm still looking for idea...

I only make time for positive things. No time for negativity. Life is too short and too beautiful

I only make time for positive things. No time for negativity. Life is too short and too beautiful...

Wife Ne Pati Ke Gaal Pe , Thapad Maar Kar ...

Wife Ne Pati Ke Gaal Pe , Thapad Maar Kar Machhar maar Diya.. Pati Gusse Se- thappad Kyu Maara? . . . . . Wife : Mere Hote Hue Koi Dusra Tumhara Khoon Piye, Ye Mujhe pasand Nahi...

don’t start an argument with a girl because they all have 43050194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 14:29PM on 07/05/2008!

don’t start an argument with a girl because they all have 43050194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 14:29PM on 07/05/200...

The C.E.O. was walking in the factory, he noticed a...

The C.E.O. was walking in the factory, he noticed a guy leaning against the wall, looking somewhere.. He approached the man & asked him, "How much do you earn?" guy was amazed n said, "3000, sir." CEO took out wallet n gave the guy 9000 n told him, "I pay people here 2 work n not 2 waste time.. This is ur 3 month's salary n now get out of here NEVER come back.." The CEO now looked at other workers & asked, "Who was that guy?" Workers replied, "He was the pizza delivery guy sir.....

Friday is like Dating Saturday is like Marriage Sunday is like ...

Friday is like Dating Saturday is like Marriage Sunday is like Honeymoon Monday to Thursday is like Married Li...

The Husband is the Head of the Family, But

The Husband is the Head of the Family, But Wife is the Neck of the Family, which can turn the head any where she wan...

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." ~William James

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." ~William Jam...

You can't just keep playing with someone's feelings because you are unsure about your own.

You can't just keep playing with someone's feelings because you are unsure about your ow...

Job Interview: "Please tell us why you'd love...

Job Interview: "Please tell us why you'd love to work for us?" Me: "I need money...

A Japanese ship was en route in the open sea. The Japanese captain went for a shower

A Japanese ship was en route in the open sea. The Japanese captain went for a shower removing his diamond ring and Rolex watch on the table. When he returned, his valuables were missing. The Captain immediately called five suspected crew members and asked each one where and what he was doing for the last 15 minutes. The Phillipino cook (in a heavy overcoat): I was in fridge room getting meat for cooking. The Indian Engineer (with a torch in hand): I was working on generator engine. The Sri Lankan seaman: I was on the mast correcting the flag...

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a ma...

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on...

Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers....

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

If I didn't have a smartphone, I'd be asleep 4 hours earlier every night....

If I didn't have a smartphone, I'd be asleep 4 hours earlier every night.......

Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but ...

Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phone...

DoctOr: Aap K Father Ki B0DY MeiN -WHiTE Cell- Khatam Hogye Hain.

DoctOr: Aap K Father Ki B0DY MeiN -WHiTE Cell- Khatam Hogye Hain. . . Sardar Bahir Gaya Or th0ri Dair Baad Aa kAr B0LA: . . . . . . D0CT0R Sab WHiTE t0 nAhi Mily Ye -RED T0SHiBA- K Mily Hain Yehi DAAL D0 Doc: Ooye Anni daya Aye tera Abba Ey China da Bandar Nah...

At the mall I was guiding my girl friend "how to...

At the mall I was guiding my girl friend "how to save money while shopping". . . . . . . . . . . . . . She taught me- "How to change boyfriend in a minut...

ﺷﺎﺩﯼ ﮐﯽ ﭘﮩﻠﯽ ﺭﺍﺕ

ﺷﺎﺩﯼ ﮐﯽ ﭘﮩﻠﯽ ﺭﺍﺕ ﺷﻮﮬﺮ : ﺳﺐ ﺳﮯ ﭘﯿﺎﺭ ﺳﮯ ﺭﮨﻨﺎ ﺳﺐ ﮐﯽ ﻋﺰﺕ ﮐﺮﻧﺎ ﺳﺐ ﮐﺎ ﺣﯿﺎﻝ ﺭﮐﮭﻨﺎ ﺳﭻ ﺑﻮﻟﻨﺎ ﮨﻤﯿﺸﮧ ﺩﻭﺳﺮﻭﮞ ﮐﯽ ﻣﺪﺩ ﮐﺮﻧﺎ ﺑﮍﻭﮞ ﮐﺎ ﺍﺧﺘﺮﺍﻡ ﮐﺮﻧﺎ ﺑﭽﻮﮞ ﺳﮯ ﭘﯿﺎﺭ ﮐﺮﻧﺎ ﺑﯿﻮﯼ :: ﮐﻤﺮﮮ ﮐﺎ ﺩﺭﻭﺍﺯﮦ ﮐﮭﻮﻝ ﮐﺮ . . . .. . ﺳﺐ ﺍﻧﺪﺭ ﺁﺟﺎﺅ ﯾﮩﺎﮞ ﺩﺭﺱ ﮨﻮ ﺭﮨﺎ ﮨ...

Googling your symptoms when you don't feel well is the most efficient way to convince yourself you're dying.

Googling your symptoms when you don't feel well is the most efficient way to convince yourself you're dyin...

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Boys are so INNOCENT...

Boys are so INNOCENT... IN Bikini 90% BODY IS EXPOSED ... AND 10% IS COVERED ,,, BUT STILL BOYS EYES FALL ON 10% COVERED AREA... <<<SO INNOCENT THEY ARE >&g...

To be the BEST you need to be able to handle the WORST

To be the BEST you need to be able to handle the WOR...

kamlesh and kavita were both patients in a mental hospital..

The love story of kamlesh and kavita. kamlesh and kavita were both patients in a mental hospital.. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. kamlesh suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. kavita promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of kavita heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell kavita...

Facebook needs these 3 buttons: 1. "Dislike", 2. "Who cares", 3. "Are you an idiot?"

Facebook needs these 3 buttons: 1. "Dislike", 2. "Who cares", 3. "Are you an idiot...

Monday, September 23, 2013

A man and his wife were having some...

A man and his wife were having some problems and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he'd need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper: "Please wake me at 5 a.m." The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9 a.m. and he'd missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and scream at his wife when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed that said: "It's 5 a.m. Wake u...

Laughter is the Best Medicine but...

Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . . . . . . . . . . . but if you are laughing without any reason; ''you need medicine.....

A dream doesn't become reality through magic. it takes sweat, determination and hard work.

A dream doesn't become reality through magic. it takes sweat, determination and hard wor...

Some wounds never heal, they just stop bleeding.

Some wounds never heal, they just stop bleeding....

Father: what is your position in the class?

Father: what is your position in the class? Son: highest of all, Father : Is it? how? Son: I always stand on the bench.......

Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you...

Alice Walker said "Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself." What can you do today to make yourself happy...

"I need to talk to you..."

"I need to talk to you..." is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you've ever done in your lif...

What goes around comes around. That’s what people say. So all the pain you caused me will come back to you someday...

What goes around comes around. That’s what people say. So all the pain you caused me will come back to you someda...

Waiting anxiously for a text, only ...

Waiting anxiously for a text, only to realize you forgot to press sen...

Boys are like ...

Boys are like stars, there are millions of them out there, but only one can make your dreams come true....

Be fearless when it comes to life, and careless when it comes to what people say and think about you.

Be fearless when it comes to life, and careless when it comes to what people say and think about you....

True friendship is when you walk into their house and your...

True friendship is when you walk into their house and your wifi connects automatical...

If a man is allowed to select a girl from 90...

If a man is allowed to select a girl from 90 girls . and . . Even if most beautiful is picked, . . . There's still the pain of losing the remaining EIGHTY NINE...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognize...

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plant...

remember, if someone pisses you off it takes 42...

remember, if someone pisses you off it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the mofo ...

If you cheat on someone that's willing to do anything for you, you actually cheated yourself.

If you cheat on someone that's willing to do anything for you, you actually cheated yourself....

Wife : I hate that beggar.

Wife : I hate that beggar. Husband : Why? Wife : Rascal, yesterday I gave him food today he gave me a book "How to Cook"...

We all give pretty cool advices to our friends..do this and do dat..but wen it comes to ourselves we hardly follow the same..

We all give pretty cool advices to our friends..do this and do dat..but wen it comes to ourselves we hardly follow the same...

Sunday, September 22, 2013

That mini heart-attack when you can't feel your phone in your pocket.

That mini heart-attack when you can't feel your phone in your pocket....

After 15 years of marriage a wife asked her husband to describe her.

After 15 years of marriage a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said: ABCDEFGHIJK. "What does that mean?" she asked. ?? "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot" he replied. Smiling she asked: What about IJK? He replied: I'm Just Kiddin...

A police officer came up to me yesterday and said,

A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, "Where were you between four and six?" . I said, "Kindergarten...

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door...

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue." "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too." No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with...

When One Door Closes, another Door Opens....

When One Door Closes, another Door Opens" ................... another Reason i will Never Hire this Crappy Carpenter Agai...

Every time I meet a woman and think, wow she is amazing I...

Every time I meet a woman and think, wow she is amazing I think we could have something special together, My wife messes it all ...

Sensitive/caring people pay a *very* high price for their sensitivity.

Sensitive/caring people pay a *very* high price for their sensitivit...

Just because I'm not forever by your side ...

“Just because I'm not forever by your side doesn't mean that's not precisely where I want to be.”...

Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you...

Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave. — Mary Tyler Moo...

Rejection is God's way of saying "Wrong direction."

Rejection is God's way of saying "Wrong direction."...

When people rob banks they go to jail, when banks rob people they get bonuses.

When people rob banks they go to jail, when banks rob people they get bonuses...

99% will get this wrong !!

Dimag hai to jawab dain ;)) 99% will get this wrong !! . . . . . . . . . . . . When i was 4 yearx old my brother was half my age..now i m 20 !! How old is my brother ...

A typical macho man married a typical good looking lady, and...

A typical macho man married a typical good looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be...

Select Any Lucky Thing

Select Any Lucky Thing Let See ap ka couple kaisa ha/kaisa ho ga 1.Tea And Sugar 2.Salt And Biryani 3.Water And Jug 4.Moon And Night 5.Eyes And LipsAnswers:1. Ek Dusre Ko Boht Chahne Wale 2. Possesive Love Dono Tarf Se 3. Dilo Mein Pyar Ha Pr Na Ap Izhar Krte Ho Na Wo. 4. Very Romentic Love 5. Ek Doosre Ko Tut K Chahne Wal...

*BRAIN TEST**

*BRAIN TEST** 99% will not get this!!!!! . . Tom Took The Two Ties To Tie... The Two Tall Trees. . How many T's are in THAT?? . Answer fast...

You can learn from everyone who passes through your life, some lessons are...

You can learn from everyone who passes through your life, some lessons are painful, someare painless but all of them are pricel...

When a Boy Sends a Dirty SMS.. . . . She Laughs For 10

When a Boy Sends a Dirty SMS..... She Laughs For 10 Minutes, Forwards that to Her Friends (Girls), Then Replies to the Boy... "Ewww, I don't like such stuff,I am not that kind of gi...

Some day you're going to make some rich dude a very happy man. But his wife .

Some day you're going to make some rich dude a very happy man. But his wife won't be happy at a...

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Your dreams give life a meaning.

Your dreams give life a meanin...

Don't waste your time looking back on ...

Don't waste your time looking back on what you've lost .Move on , for life is not meant to b traveled backwards............

Just Remember that somewhere out there, someone is thinking of You and...

Just Remember that somewhere out there, someone is thinking of You and the Impact you have made in their Life .............. it's not me though ...... i think you're an Idio...

A strong friendship doesn't always need daily conversation or...

A strong friendship doesn't always need daily conversation or togetherness, as long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never par...

I lost my balance on an escalator and fell down the stairs for 2 hours.

I lost my balance on an escalator and fell down the stairs for 2 hour...

A man who is dying in the hospital is surrounded his two sons, daughter and his wife and nurse.

A man who is dying in the hospital is surrounded his two sons, daughter and his wife and nurse. Says to his eldest son: - To you, Peter, I leave the Beverly houses. - To you, my dear daughter, I leave the apartments in the Los Angeles Plaza. - To you, Charlie, being my youngest son with a large future, I leave the City Center offices. - And you, my dear wife, the three residential buildings towers in downtown. The nurse, impressed, tells his wife: Madam, your husband is very rich. He is having many properties! You all are so lucky!! And the wife...

Mazdoor: Khabi Khabi mere dill main khial ata hai...

Mazdoor: Khabi Khabi mere dill main khial ata hai, 2nd Mazdoor: Batao kya khial ata hai? 1st Mazdoor: Jab bijli nahi, Pani nahi, to Bill kaha se ata hai?...

By comparing your kid with others ...

By comparing your kid with others you might even loose the qualities he had in himself .. Which distinguish him from all the other kids— start Appreciating ...

How to impress a girl ???

How to impress a girl ??? . . . . . . . . . . . . If you know that, then help me...

Between ten people, nine maybe in love with you..

Between ten people, nine maybe in love with you.. . . . . . . .. . . . . But, You'll fall in love exactly for that one who doesn't love you... <♥&g...

Friday, September 20, 2013

Wife is busy packing her clothes...

Wife is busy packing her clothes. Man: And where are you going? Wife: I'm moving to my mother. Husband also starts packing. Wife: And where do you think your going? Husband: I'm also moving to my mother. Wife: And what about the kids? Husband: Well if you are moving to your mother and I'm moving to my mother then I guess they must also move to their moth...

"Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and ...

"Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A 'you can do it' when things are tough." -Richard M. DeV...

ایک کسان نے اپنے دس کے دس بچوں کو ایک قطار میں کھڑا کیا ہوا تھا۔ اور ان سے

.ایک کسان نے اپنے دس کے دس بچوں کو ایک قطار میں کھڑا کیا ہوا تھا۔ اور ان سے تفتیش ہورہی تھی کہ " بتاؤ چھت پر رکھے ڈرم کو کس نے دھکا دے کر سیڑھیوں سے نیچے گرایا ؟ " کسی بچے نے کوئی جواب نہ دیا۔ کسان نے پھر زور دے کے پوچھا۔" ڈرم کو کس نے دھکا دے کر سیڑھیوں سے نیچے گرایا تھا؟" ایک بار پھر کسی نے جواب نہ دیا۔... کسان نے کہا۔ " ٹھیک ہے ۔ میں ایک کہانی سناتا ہوں ۔ ایک تھا بادشاہ اور ایک تھا اس کا بیٹا شہزاد...ہ۔ ایک دن شہزادے نے کلہاڑے سے بادشاہ کا پسندیدہ انار کا درخت کاٹ دیا۔ بادشاہ کو پتہ چلا تو اس نے سب سے پوچھا کہ درخت کس نے کاٹا ؟۔ شہزادے نے...

بیوی :میں تمہاری یاد میں پندرہ دن میں آدھی مر گئی ہوں

بیوی :میں تمہاری یاد میں پندرہ دن میں آدھی مر گئی ہوں مجھے لینے کب آ رہے ہو ؟؟ . . . . شوہر : پندرہ دن بعد !!!!!!...

My girlfriend asked me "What is Your Favorite...

My girlfriend asked me "What is Your Favorite position?"... . . I said "Chief Executive Officer" and we laughed & laughed.... . . . . and I am Single agai...

A fake DP says that you are more comfortable with society than yourself.

A fake DP says that you are more comfortable with society than yoursel...

An Arab Couple went to London hotel...

An Arab Couple went to London hotel... One day in hotel room husband heard his wife scream "Farr! Faaaarrrrr" (which is the arabic word for mouse). Now he wanted to inform room service but dn't know English word for "farr" is .....Husband : hello room service? Room service: yes sir ,how can i help u ? Husband: Mmmm..... U Know tom and Jerry ? Room service: yes sir ,i know tom and jerry ... Husband: Wallah Habibi Jerry is here...

Wife , maire tabiat kuch theek nahi lag rhi

Wife , maire tabiat kuch theek nahi lag rhi Husband , Oh main to shopping pay janay ka soch rha tha Wife, main to mazaq kar rhi the Husband , main bhi mazaq kar rha tha Chal hun roti paka...

A boy with his father went to Doctor with infection on His face.

A boy with his father went to Doctor with infection on His face. After Checkup Dr said: Apni Gf ko bolo Lipstick ka Brand badle. Tumy MEDORA se Allergy hai. Father ghuse se dekhne laga. Boy: Dr sahab ghar jayen tu apni beti ko bta dyna. Docter to father: -Paen tusi enu pehle kuto gaye ya mai...

Hearing my own voice on recording makes me want to...

Hearing my own voice on recording makes me want to apologize to every single person ive talked to like im really sor...

Larki k nakhray . . Aur . .

Larki k nakhray . . Aur . . Qurbaani k Bakray : . . Hamesha Menhgey hi Partey hain...

New born baby slowly opens its tiny eyes and ask nurse...

New born baby slowly opens its tiny eyes and ask nurse- Why no light.? . . Nurse- Power cut... . . Baby- Saaala....Phir se Pak me paida ho gya.!!...

The difference between a Goal and a Dream is a Deadline.

The difference between a Goal and a Dream is a Deadlin...

Aaj kal ladkia Mai Itna blood

Aaj kal ladkia Mai Itna blood Nahi hota ' ' ' ' ' . . . ' Jitna EGO or Attitude hota hai...

Question:" Why AMBULANCE is WHITE in color ??. Answer from Pappu....

Question:" Why AMBULANCE is WHITE in color ?? (15 marks) Answer from Pappu Ans:" AMBULANCE has OXYGEN cylinder, Oxygen is a gas, GAS is used 4 cooking FOOD, FOOD is source of VITAMINS, WE get Vit-D from SUN, SUN produces LIGHT, LIGHT comes from bulbs, Small BULBS are used to decorate CHRISTMAS tree, CHRISTMAS means GIFTS, GIFTS are given by SANTA, SANTA lives in NORTH POLE, NORTH POLE is the house of POLAR BEARS, POLAR BEARS are WHITE That's why ambulance is WHI...

I'm trying to increase my vegetable intake because my better half wants me...

I'm trying to increase my vegetable intake because my better half wants me to eat healthy Does anyone know how many shots of vodka equals one potat...

They ignore you now, but they'll Need you later...

They ignore you now, but they'll Need you later....

Girl: Apple ka Rate kya hai?

Girl: Apple ka Rate kya hai? . Applewala: 100 Rs ke 10, . Girl: kuch kam karo na plz.. . . . . . . . . Applwala: Acha aap 80 ke 8 lelo . Girl: Thanku, dedo.. ye huyi na Baat....

Life is short and unpredictable, don't waste another minute on the people...

Life is short and unpredictable, don't waste another minute on the people, places and things that don't make you happy. Have a beautiful & blessed day my luvli...

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy,"

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very...

Most men think that it's better to be tough. But I believe it's better to be...

Most men think that it's better to be tough. But I believe it's better to be soft; Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) was a soft man with a tough hear...

Thursday, September 19, 2013

2 Wives chatting in office: Wife 1: I had a fine evening

2 Wives chatting in office: Wife 1: I had a fine evening how was yours ????? Wife 2 : It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins. How was yours ? Wife 1: Oh mine was amazing ! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale ! At the same time, their husbands are talking at work... Husband 1: How was your evening ? Husband 2 : Great. I came home, dinner was on the table,...

Why you use facebook...?

Why you use facebook...? 1. For friends 2. For girls 3. For time pass 4. For someone special 5. For family 6. For searching girl frnd or boyfriend 7. For spoil your life. : 8. For flirting 9. For pages 10. Don't know.. : 11. For Information & updates. 12. For Fun. 13.time pass 14. Others.....

Stay Strong. There's a Rainbow after every storm.

Stay Strong. There's a Rainbow after every stor...

Telling everyone you're quitting FB is like a nine year old saying they...

Telling everyone you're quitting FB is like a nine year old saying they are running away, we know you're looking for attention and we know you'll be ba...

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?” asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately...

Life never gets easier, You just get Stronger.

Life never gets easier, You just get Stronge...

Santa makes call 2 airport: How long is the journey from punjab 2 America??

Santa makes call 2 airport: How long is the journey from punjab 2 America?? Receptionist: 1 sec sir.. . . . . Santa disconnects n says, ''pee ke bethi h kamin...

Pathan ladki dekhne gaya...

Pathan ladki dekhne gaya, usne English mein baat karne ki sochi aur bola: English chalegi na? . . . . . . . . . Ladki sharmate hue: soda,namkeen aur leg piece sath me ho to DESI bhi chalegi.....

don't worry girl, you will find the one who will ruin your lipstick, and not your mascara.

don't worry girl, you will find the one who will ruin your lipstick, and not your mascar...

MILLION DOLLAR TRUTH :-

MILLION DOLLAR TRUTH :- "Wife is cute when she is mute" & "Hubby is honey when he gives money"...

انسان کے لئے سب سے مشکل مرحلہ وہ ہوتا ھے جب اس کا دل کسی چیز کی گواہی دے رہا ہو...

انسان کے لئے سب سے مشکل مرحلہ وہ ہوتا ھے جب اس کا دل کسی چیز کی گواہی دے رہا ہو مگر اس کی زبان خاموش ہو ۔۔ جب اس کا دماغ چلا چلا کر کسی چیز کی صداقت کا اقرار کر رہا ہو مگر ہونٹ ساکت ہ...

Just when the clock struck 11...

There was this case in the hospital's ICU where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m. regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. Why the death? So the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding...

Thought Of The Day: Patience is a vitamin for the soul

Thought Of The Day: Patience is a vitamin for the so...

"We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future. "

"We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future. "...

Mistake is a single page of life but relation is a complete book. So don’t lose a full book for a single page..

Mistake is a single page of life but relation is a complete book. So don’t lose a full book for a single page.....

Sardar ne msjd sy juti chori ki or pkra gya...

Sardar ne msjd sy juti chori ki or pkra gya, Molvi:Eny juti chuki ay.Edi 'Tind' kro, Sardar:1 juti wapis le lo,TeyYO YOH0NEY SINGH wali cutting kr de...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Fact. . . . . . . . . Agar Hand Writing Ki Baat Karen To Exam Ke Aakhiri 15 Min Mein Har Student Mein Doctor Ki Aatma Aa Jati Hai... 3...

- My cheque was returned with a remark: "Insufficient funds".

A client comes to a bank: - My cheque was returned with a remark: "Insufficient funds". . . I'd like to know whether it refers to mine or the Ban...

I was searching for a meaning to my Life. Then I found...

I was searching for a meaning to my Life. Then I found Internet and now..... . . . . . . . . I am searching for a Life...

Agar Hand Writing Ki Baat Karen To

Fact. . . . . . . . . Agar Hand Writing Ki Baat Karen To Exam Ke Aakhiri 15 Min Mein Har Student Mein Doctor Ki Aatma Aa Jati Hai... 3...

Secret formula for married couples...

Secret formula for married couples... "Love One Another" And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle....

Hindi Names Of Hollywood Movies:

Hindi Names Of Hollywood Movies: Taken : Le Li Taken 2 : Uski bhi Le Li The Dark Knight :Sanwla Shoorveer Wrong Turn : Galat Mod Le Liya Be. Wrong Turn 2 : Saala Phir Se Galat Mod Liya Terminator : Bhasmasur Welcome To The Jungle :Anil Kapoor Ki Chhaati Me Aap Ka Swagat Hai . The Mummy Returns :Mataji Vaapas Aa Rahi Hain. SAW: Dekha SAW 2: Phir Se Dekha SAW 3: Ek Baar Phir Se Dekha Inception : Khwab Mein Khwab, Dimaag Ka da...

Relationships are always stronger when you are best friends first, and a couple second.

Relationships are always stronger when you are best friends first, and a couple secon...

Sometimes it is about who thought of the idea first and sometimes

Sometimes it is about who thought of the idea first and sometimes it is about who executed it the best. The real successful person does both and sets a high benchmark for others to become a role mode...

I want you to have a candle-lit dinner and say those magical three words to ...

I want you to have a candle-lit dinner and say those magical three words to you ………… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . “Pay The bill”...

This is what makes us girls We all look for ...

This is what makes us girls We all look for heaven and we put our love first Somethin' that we'd die for, it's our curse Don't cry about it, We don't stick together 'cause we put our love first Never cry about it.....

The best thing about being me...I'm a limited edition...there are no other copies! ...

The best thing about being me...I'm a limited edition...there are no other copies! .....

"There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart". (Jane Austen)

"There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart". (Jane Austen...

When a woman says we need to talk, what it really means is......

When a woman says we need to talk, what it really means is...... . . . . . . . "you need to listen...

Women will always be women...

Women will always be women... An elderly woman decided to get her portrait painted. She told the artist to paint her with a Diamond necklace and Diamond ear-rings, Emerald bracelet, a broach of Ruby and a gold Rolex. The confused artist: But, you aren't wearing them, nothing of them. Old lady: I know. But if I die before my husband, I'm sure he will re-marry and I want his new wife to go crazy looking and searching for the jewellery.!!...

A head full fears has no space for dreams..

A head full fears has no space for dream...

Girl : Mera Facebook Pe Account Ban Sakta Hai Kya??? . . .

Girl : Mera Facebook PeAccountBan Sakta Hai Kya???... Boy : Haa Yaar Ban Sakta Hai..Tumhara Kya Kisi Ka Bhi BanSakta Hai...Girl : To Main Apne AccountMe PAISA Jama Kara Sakti Hu.. .[BOY GIVE A SURPRISE LOOK ]..Girl : Kya Hua..??? Lagta HaiTumko Bhi Zyada Knowledge Nahi HaiIs Bare...

Wife : Ek baat bolu??.. . Husband...

Wife : Ek baat bolu??...Husband : Bolo. . ..Wife : Maaroge to nahi?. ... Husbund : Nahi to, kya baathai?. . ..Wife : mai pregnant hun.. .. ..Husband : Hurray!!! Its gud news,darkyu rahi thi?? . ....Wife : College ke dino mai papa kobataya tha to badi maar padi thi...

My Love, I promise to always be there for you… We are a team, you and me…

My Love, I promise to always be there for you… We are a team, you and me… I am on yourside, to support you and to build you up when you are feeling down. I am here to encourageyou and to cheer you, to be your best friend and to love ...

G.f. To b.f. . . . . .

G.f. To b.f...... ."darling do u knw , handsome ndsmart boysalways get stupid girlfriend".. .....B.f.-"thanx for complime...

A smile on my face, air in my lungs, and love in my heart. Alhamdulillah, for everything.

A smile on my face, air in my lungs, and love in my heart. Alhamdulillah, for everythi...

Ek ladka fail hua to uske papa ne kaha- . . . dekh-dekh , padosh ki ladki ko dekh...

Ek ladka fail hua to uske papane kaha-...dekh-dekh , padosh ki ladki ko dekh, wotumhare sath padhti hai,...1st aayi hai. . . ...Boy- dekh-dekh kya dekh.. Usiko dekh-dekh ke to fail huahoo...

Dunia Mai Sab Se Dukhi Aadmi Kon Hai?

Dunia Mai Sab Se Dukhi Aadmi Kon Hai? Panipuri Wala !..... ..Kaise?... ...Kyu Ki Ladki Kuwari Ho Ya Married "BHAIYA" HiBulati He.... Koi nai sochta in logo ke baare me ,,aaj mene socha he.. "Becha...

Malkin:: Tum 3 din say kaam pay nhi aee ?

Malkin:: Tum 3 din say kaampay nhi aee ? aur batay bhi nhi...... ... ..Nukarani::Bibi ji...mainy FB par status update to kiya thaa "GOING TO GAOU" for 3 day'sorsahib ji nay comment bhe kiya tha.. Missing you sweetheart...

Our generation's sleeping schedule depends on...

Our generation's sleeping schedule depends on . . . . . . . . . . . the percentage of battery remaining in the phone....

Relationship in 1995-Agar tum mil jao...

Relationship in 1995-Agar tum mil jao...Zamana chhor denge hum..... Relationship in 2013-Agar tum mil jao....Purana chhor denge hum...

SANTA ne Padosan ko khat likha

SANTA ne Padosan ko khat likha "I LOVE YOU" Or niche likha Mene English me isliye Likha He ki Teri MAA padh na sake Ki Muje Tumse Pyar Hai ....

Type Of Photographers,

Type Of Photographers, 1, The Rich Ones They Have mony, they buy the latest and most expensive equipments, They take photos in automode. then they lern basics of the manual model and always like to talk about shutter and aperture. Oh and ISO too, They Irritate People by tagging them on their photos, They Like collecting expersive lenses and flashlights and brag about it but use none. 2. The Desperate ones, they are inspired by people who have a DSLR. they Just Want To buy one And shoot in auto mode for the rest of their lives, They save money...

Dont lose hope. When the sun goes down, the stars come out.!!

Dont lose hope. When the sun goes down, the stars come out....

That awkward moment when you're taking off your sweater and your T-shirt comes off too.

That awkward moment when you're taking off your sweater and your T-shirt comes off to...

Boys After Drinking...

After Drinking - Boys Talk Unnecessarily, . Become Emotional... . Drive Badly... . Stop Thinking... . Fight For Nothing... . . . Girls can do all these, without Drinking...

Sunny Leone arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting...

Sunny Leone arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting... . . . Bhikhari: "Behen ji 1 rupiya dedo..." ... . . . . Sunny Loene gave him a 1000 Rs. . . . Secretary: "Why did u give him 1000 Rs..?" . . . . . . . . . . . Sunny Loene: "Pehli bar kisi nay behan kaha...dil khush ho gaya...

Gastronomy sounds like study of farts. Although it is about food.

Gastronomy sounds like study of farts. Although it is about foo...

I just tried to kill a spider with hair spray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding!

I just tried to kill a spider with hair spray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstandin...

Pandit ji meri shaadi ko 5 saal hogaye, Par, Ek bhi baccha nahi hua!

Pandit ji meri shaadi ko 5 saal hogaye, Par, Ek bhi baccha nahi hua! . . . . Pandit: mein Badrinath me tumhare naam ka Diya jala dunga. . . . . 10 saal baad... .Pandit uske ghar aaya. Ghar me 10bacchethe. . . . . . . Pandit: Mubarak ho! baccho ke papa kaha hai.....?? . . . . . Wife: Badrinath gaye hain, Diya bujhaane.....

English classes would have been much easier if Shakespeare's mum had an abortion.

English classes would have been much easier if Shakespeare's mum had an abortio...

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

What you allow, is what will continue.

What you allow, is what will continu...

The Cutest Proposal of the world from a cute girl to a boy… Girl : “Hey, I have lost my Surname.. Can I use Yours”

The Cutest Proposal of the world from a cute girl to a boy… Girl : “Hey, I have lost my Surname.. Can I use You...

Beautiful Story of 3 Friends

Beautiful Story of 3 Friends 1:- ilm 2:- Doulat 3:- itbar Teno Dost Thay Teno Mein Piyar B Bohat Tha Aik Dafa Aisa Waqt Aya K Teno Ko Juda Hona Para Teno Ne Aik Dosray Sy Sawal Kea K Woh dubara kahan milain Gay? ilm Bola:- Main Mudarsay Masjid Aur School main milon Ga Dolat Boli:- Main Mehal Aur Ameeron K Pas milon Gi Lekin Itbar Khamosh Rha Dono Ne Waja Pochi To Itbar Ne Thandi Aah Bhar K Kaha me 1 baar chala gea to wapis nahi milo ga. Its not only a msg. Think about i...

Just ordered a chicken and an egg online, waiting to see which one comes first... will keep you posted...

Just ordered a chicken and an egg online, waiting to see which one comes first... will keep you posted......

There are five types of fear...

There are five types of fear. 1. terror 2: panic 3. 14 missed calls from mom 4: username or password is incorrect 5. we need to ta...

According to Astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a ...

According to Astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years too late. That star is dead. Just like your dream...

Monday, September 16, 2013

Pakistan wo wahid Mulk hai . . . Jahan . . .

Pakistan wo wahid Mulk hai . . . Jahan . . . CASE . . . Brief-CASE ki wajah sey khatam ho jata ha...

Hey Ladies! Long hair or Short? Let us know in the comment box below.

Hey Ladies! Long hair or Short? Let us know in the comment box belo...

when i;m up my friends know who im , when i;m down , i know who my friends r

when i;m up my friends know who im , when i;m down , i know who my friends...

Dreams take time, dreams take work, dreams take you growing ... but they do come true !

Dreams take time, dreams take work, dreams take you growing ... but they do come true...

I think that the minimum goal for everyday should be to avoid some avoidable stress.

I think that the minimum goal for everyday should be to avoid some avoidable stress. At work, at home, with friends, outside, and everywhere. If you can avoid stress by moving away quietly, you should do i...

You choose your friends. You choose your colleagues. You choose your spouse. But you don't choose your ...

You choose your friends. You choose your colleagues. You choose your spouse. But you don't choose your family. If you have a wonderful family, thank Allah because believe it or not, not everybody doe...

If you had the chance to speak 3 fluent languages...which 3 would it be?

If you had the chance to speak 3 fluent languages...which 3 would it be?...

Pakistani Engr apny dost american Engnr se milne or bola:

Pakistani Engr apny dost american Engnr se milne or bola: Itna khubsurat ghr kese bnaya? American: wo samne bridge nazr arha hy? Pakistani: han American: uska 10% apni jeb me. Phr american pakistan aya to heraan reh gya k pakistani ka ghar us se b zyada khubsurt hy. American: Tm ne kese bnaya itna khubsurt ghar? Pakistani: wo samne bridge nazr araha hy? American: Nai Pakistani: .haha...

Poling Station Main Any Wali Larki Mere Dil Main Sama Gai...

Poling Station Main Any Wali Larki Mere Dil Main Sama Gai - . Mulk Ka Tu Pata Nahi Dost . Mgr Apni Zindagi Main To Tabdeeli AA gai...

You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.

You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night befor...

Teacher panni ka formula batao?

Teacher panni ka formula batao? Student: H2MgClNaClHNO3. Teacher: Stupid ye kia hy? Student: Sir ye Selaab ka panni h...

LARKiY0N K Muh Se K0NSA Lafz Ziada Acha Lagta.. ?? = D

LARKiY0N K Muh Se K0NSA Lafz Ziada Acha Lagta.. ?? = D A- SoRry B- Thanx C-Kutta Kamina D- Bandar E- Daffar F- I Like U G- I Love U H- Dfaa Ho I- Shut Up J- Idiot K- Huh L- Awwwwww ....my fev....awww glzzz M- Other Comment Fast.....

I don’t understand how my room gets so messy when i literally sit in one spot with my laptop all day

I don’t understand how my room gets so messy when i literally sit in one spot with my laptop all da...

Ironically, people are like...

Ironically, people are like songs. You find one, listen to them till you get bored and then move on. Years after, you listen to them again and smil...

Sometimes Common Sense Invades All Senses...

Sometimes Common Sense Invades All Senses : Einstein and Banta are sitting next to each other on a long flight. Einstein says, "Let's play a game. I will ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you pay me only $ 5 and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." Einstein asks the first question: What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon? Banta doesn't say a word, reaches his pocket and pulls out a $ 5... Now, it's Banta's turn. He asks Einstein, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on 4 legs ?" Einstein searches...

You know it's going to be a long day when you put salt in your tea thinking it's sugar

You know it's going to be a long day when you put salt in your tea thinking it's sug...

Today is the day that I am finally going to _________ ! (Please fill in the blank)

Today is the day that I am finally going to _________ ! (Please fill in the blan...

Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphones.

Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphone...

Once upon a time a lady went up to Picasso and said... ' i love...

Once upon a time a lady went up to Picasso and said... ' i love your work do you mind sketching a portrait of me' as she handed him a paper and pencil . Picasso was delighted and said 'yes'. He sketched the lady a beautiful portrait and handed it to her. The lady was thankful to Picasso and turned and walked away with her portrait. Picasso stopped her and said 'excuse me, that will be a million pounds' The lady was shocked 'what! You only spent 30 mins on it!' Picasso said 'My lady, it took me 30 years to be able to do that in 30mins' The...

thay buhat bai_dard lamhey

thay buhat bai_dard lamhey Khatm-e-dard-e-ishq ke theeN buhat bai_mehar subhaiN meherbaaN raatooN ke ba...

Sunday, September 15, 2013

If you are using public transport never give up your seat to

If you are using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady. . . . Thats how my friend lost his job as a bus drive...

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” - Dr. Seuss

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” - Dr. Seu...

One of the best message on corporate life...

One of the best message on corporate life: In the past few years, 1. I learnt to operate 3 critical machines * Scanner * Printer * Xerox Machine 2. I learnt to use 3 High End Software: * Microsoft Word * Microsoft Excel * Microsoft PowerPoint 3. I learnt to use 3 great short cuts:- * Ctrl+C * Ctrl+V * Ctrl+S 4. I learnt to say three very imp words for professional life:- * Yes sir * Ok sir. * I'll Just Do That sir 5. When I really wanted to quit, I learnt to: - * Wake Up early * Sleep late * Continue to Work 6. I learnt to: - * Face Monday...

Do u remember the day we travelled in a car?

Do u remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window u put ur face out then people started shouting TWINS TWIN...

I know its a little early, but I just wanted to say fuck you Monday!!!! No one likes you...

I know its a little early, but I just wanted to say fuck you Monday!!!! No one likes you....

Oye Kaake, Pyaar Sacha Hona Chahiye..

Aaj Ka Khatarnaak Vichar...;(( "Oye Kaake, Pyaar Sacha Hona Chahiye.." . . . . "Andha To qanun Bhi hota Hai...

When one door closes, another one opens . That’s when...

When one door closes, another one opens. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . That’s when you realize that you've bought a really bad second hand c...

Why Admins Have No GF/bfs?

Why Admins Have No GF/bfs? . . . . . . . . Because the time you were partying, we were busy in Creating page. The time you were playing, we were busy in Promoting. The time you were dating, we were busy in like Taking. The time you were sleeping, we were busy in Posting. Overall, the time you were living, we were busy in Entertain U. Respect Admins....... respect me.. ...

Relationship does not get closer by meetings , But it is...

Relationship does not get closer by meetings , But it is Sweetened by THOUGHTS I Care for u in My Own STRANGE Ways. May be yoU will never KNOW, May be I will Never Show . ....

Never heard a ghost story of pathans. Probably they...

Never heard a ghost story of pathans. Probably they cant understand what ghosts want to communicate. How will they scare if they won't understand. Boooo. Way khana kharab um ko sonay d...

chand ko b mil gaie chandni, taaron ka kia hoga?

:Old genration: :-| roshni chand se hoti hai sitaron se nahi..,, muhabbat aik se hoti ha hazaron se nahi..!!! New genration: B-) chand ko b mil gaie chandni, taaron ka kia hoga? muhabbat aik Hi se kar li to baki hazaron ka kia hog...

The Funniest Fact About Smokers Is That...

The Funniest Fact About Smokers Is That They All Believe, They Can Quit Smoking Any Day They Want.....

SON : Dad there is a small get together in d school tommoro. Pls come.

Height of Smartness: SON : Dad there is a small get together in d school 2moro. Pls come. Dad : What do u mean by SMALL.. Who all will be there?? Son : Only U, ME & PRINCIPAL....

Running toward my dreams, tripped over reality and hit my head on the truth.

Running toward my dreams, tripped over reality and hit my head on the trut...

Height of JOB satisfaction

Height of JOB satisfaction A boy was appointed as a Receptionist in a Girls hostel. After 2 months the owner called the boy and said, Why haven't you come to collect your salary? . . . . . . . Boy: oh my god! Do I get SALARY as well...

Zindagi "MeeM" Ka Ik Mukhtasar Sa Qissa Hai,

Zindagi "MeeM" Ka Ik Mukhtasar Sa Qissa Hai, Mulaaqat, Mohabat, Malaal Or Mout...

''YE WAQT GUZAR JAYEGA''

Akbar Ne Birbal Se Kaha Kuch Aisa Likho Ki Jo Khushi Me Padho To Dukh Ho Aur Gum Me Padho To Khushi.. : : : : : Birbal Ne Likha: ''YE WAQT GUZAR JAYEGA''...

Behind every successful student ...

Behind every successful student ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . There is a DEACTIVATED FACEBOOK account ... ...

Dear sunday, ab aa hee gaye ho to...

Dear sunday, ab aa hee gaye ho to... . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . to yaar 2-3 din ruk kar hi jana.......

As soon as you die, your Identity becomes a "Body".. People use phrases like "Bring the body" ...

As soon as you die, your Identity becomes a "Body".. People use phrases like "Bring thebody" , "Lower the body in the grave", "Take the body to the graveyard" etc.. People don'teven call you by your Name whom you tried to impress whole your Life..Live a Life to Impress the Creator, not the Creation.....

If Google can’t solve your problem then you are in deep shit.

If Google can't solve your problem then you are in deep sh...

Just because you miss someone doesn't mean you need them back in your life. Sometimes missing is just a part of moving on.

Just because you miss someone doesn't mean you need them back in your life. Sometimes missing is just a part of moving o...

If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean,If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious but If a...

If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean,If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious but If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.... L...

BOY - Janeman"TUTE DILSE"pyar krogi ya"DIL TUTNE"tak pyar krogi ?

BOY - Janeman"TUTE DILSE"pyar krogi ya"DIL TUTNE"tak pyar krogi ? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . GIRL- KAMINEY, ye bata"TUTI CHAPPAL"se pitega ya"CHAPPAL TUTNE TAK"pitega? ...

Saturday, September 14, 2013

ایک امریکی اور روسی بحث کررہے تھے

ایک امریکی اور روسی بحث کررہے تھے روسی : ہمارے ملک میں کھدائی ہوئی تو زیر زمین سے ٹیلفون کے تار برآمد ہوئے اور یہ کوئی 300 سال پرانے تھے اس کا مطلب یہ ہوا کہ ٹیلیفون ہماری ایجاد ہے. امریکی نے بھی کچھ ایسا ہی دعویٰ کیا اور پاکستانی صاحب مسکراتے رہے. اب پاکستانی صاحب نے کہا کہ ہمارے پاکستان میں بھی کھدائی ہوئی تھی، ادھر سے کوئی تار وار نہیں نکلا ، روسی اور امریکی ہنس پڑے مگر پاکستانی نے بات جاری رکھی اور مزید بات پوری کرتے ہوئے فرمایا اس کا یہ مطلب ہوا کہ ہمارے اباؤ اجداد وائر لیس اور وائی فائی استعمال کرتے تھے...

Respect old people, They graduated highschool without google & wikipedia..!

Respect old people They graduated highschool without google & wikipedia....

A taxi passenger touched d driver on shoulder to ask something, Driver screamed...

A taxi passenger touched d driver on shoulder to ask something Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath&S topped few centimeter s from a shop The driver said: “Don’t ever do that again, u scared me” Passenger apologized n said: “I didn’t realize a little touch would scare u so much” Driver replied: “Sorry, it’s not your fault its my 1st day as a Cab driver.I’v e been driving a van carrying dead bodies for last 25 yr...

“The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success." - Bruce Feirstein

“The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success." - Bruce Feirste...

AIk husband nay wife ko chewing gum ka pack la kar dia..

AIk husband nay wife ko chewing gum ka pack la kar dia... Wife nay poocha App nay apnay liyeh nahi li...Husband nay baybasi say jawab dia... May to chup he rehta hoN naa....

The moment when you start telling a story and....

The moment when you start telling a story and you realize no one's listening, so you slowly fade out and pretend like you never said anythin...

Bf calls gf in midnight ......

Bf calls gf in midnight ...... Bf: Kya pehni ho swthrt ?? Gf: Tumko hamesha yehi baat karni aati hai ? . . Bf: Ok, then tell me , How India should handle Economical and Terrorism issues? . . . . . gf: ok , T-Shirt & Low...

Brain Teaser A bus driver was heading down a street in...

Brain Teaser A bus driver was heading down a street in Delhi.He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a 'no left turn' sign and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws. Why not? lets see who will give the correct one fir...

You text him, he doesn't text back. He was obviously so excited that you texted him that he fainted.

You text him, he doesn't text back. He was obviously so excited that you texted him that he fainte...

I'm not fat, I'm so intelligent that my...

I'm not fat, I'm so intelligent that my head couldn't hold anymore information and started to fill up the rest of me. That's my story and I'm sticking to i...

Friday, September 13, 2013

That moment when you feel like giving up, when it doesn't seem worth it?...That is where change happens, don't stop. Keep going. You will not regret it.

That moment when you feel like giving up, when it doesn't seem worth it?...That is wherechange happens, don't stop. Keep going. You will not regret ...

Some people are so important in our life, Not because we enjoy their company, but because we feel so lonely in their absence..

Some people are so important in our life, Not because we enjoy their company, but because we feel so lonely in their absence...

That terrifying moment when you rub your eyes for too long and you go blind for like 10 seconds..

That terrifying moment when you rub your eyes for too long and you go blind for like 10 seconds...

Wife angry as Husband stands too close 2 a beautiful girl in a bus! Suddenly....

Wife angry as Husband stands too close 2 a beautiful girl in a bus! Suddenly the Girl slaps Husband for pinching Husband : i swear i didn't do it. Wife: i know dear, i did ...

Cheating isn't always kissing, touching, or flirting. If you...

Cheating isn't always kissing, touching, or flirting. If you gotta delete text messages so your partner won't seem em, you're already ther...

I really miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like bitch whatever.

I really miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like bitch whateve...

Thursday, September 12, 2013

If you tell me the truth, I'm gonna be mad but I'll get over it. If you lie...

If you tell me the truth, I'm gonna be mad but I'll get over it. If you lie to me I'm never gonna be able to trust you again. your choi...

A lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her cell phone after...

A lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her cell phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet, etc., was stolen. 20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says 'I received your text asking about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.' When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text 'hubby'...

Salary and how much you work!

All salary wale ppl must read this:----- After 2 years of selfless service, I realized that I had not been promoted, no salary increment,no commendation.So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me, smiled and asked meto sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked here for even a single day." I was shocked to hear this !!!, but the manager went on to explain, and here's theconversation that took place. Manager: How many days are there in a year? Me: 365 days and sometimes 366. Manager: How many hours make up a day? Me:...

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