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Monday, September 30, 2013
If you love a flower, don’t pick
1:55 PM
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If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.”
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.”
“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”
1:54 PM
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“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”
1. Buy a turtle 2. Name it "The speed of light"...
9:38 AM
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1. Buy a turtle
2. Name it "The speed of light"
3. Be able to honestly say I can run faster the
speed of light
Ek aurat chappal ki dukaan pe.
9:20 AM
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Wrong Size!!!
Ek aurat chappal ki dukaan pe.
Aurat: Bhaiya, ek chappal dikhao?
Dukandaar: Number kya hai?
Aurat: 36 Number.
Dukandaar: Bhabhi Ji, dimag pe zor daalo aur soch ke batao ki kya lene aayi ho aap
Ek aurat chappal ki dukaan pe.
Aurat: Bhaiya, ek chappal dikhao?
Dukandaar: Number kya hai?
Aurat: 36 Number.
Dukandaar: Bhabhi Ji, dimag pe zor daalo aur soch ke batao ki kya lene aayi ho aap
Having a Facebook page is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
8:21 AM
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Having a Facebook page is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
You text me, I respond 15 seconds later and apparently you die of excitement cause 2 hours later I'm still waiting for a response
8:20 AM
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You text me, I respond 15 seconds later and apparently you die of excitement cause 2 hours later I'm still waiting for a response
How 2 grow up a baby and make it smart, cute, funny & extremely intelligent..
8:20 AM
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How 2 grow up a baby and make it smart, cute, funny & extremely intelligent...
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Ask My Parents..
12:47 AM
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My wish is "654321"
6-digit salary
5-Five working days.
4-Four Wheeler car.
3-Three Bedroom Flat.
2-Two Cute Children.
1-One Sweetheart.
6-digit salary
5-Five working days.
4-Four Wheeler car.
3-Three Bedroom Flat.
2-Two Cute Children.
1-One Sweetheart.
A Normal Person Prays To GOD " Don't Give Me Problems ".
12:46 AM
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A Normal Person Prays To GOD
" Don't Give Me Problems ".
But A Great Person Prays To GOD
" Give Me Power To Face The Problems "
According to my Facebook timeliness, nothing happened between the day I was born until the day I joined Facebook.
12:32 AM
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According to my Facebook timeliness, nothing happened between the day I was born until the day I joined Facebook.
ek Bus Mein Ek Jawan Madam Khadi Thi...
12:31 AM
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ek Bus Mein Ek Jawan Madam Khadi Thi...
Pappu Ne Dekha Aur apni jagah se Khada Hokar Bola
Pappu: “Mam, Aap Meri Jagah Pe Baith Jaiye”
Madam Ne Ye Sunkar Use Zor Se Ek Thappad Lagaya,
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Pappu: “Bhalai Ka To Zamana Hi Nahi Hai ”
Pappu Rote Hue Dobara Apne Papa Ki Gaud Mein Beth Gaya.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
We are so developed that all kids in our country can operate iPad.
8:29 AM
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USA :" We are so developed that all kids in our
country can operate iPad.
China: "Bitch please. Kids here know how to
manufacture an iPad.
Why can't facebook be my job? I'm always on time.
8:26 AM
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Why can't facebook be my job?
I'm always on time.
I never call in sick.
I never complain about being there
AND
I work overtime.
I'm always on time.
I never call in sick.
I never complain about being there
AND
I work overtime.
during a math test in my school days.
8:16 AM
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during a math test in my school days.
me: my answer = 23
answer choices: 170, 195, 264, 362
me: well 170 is closest to 23, so that must be the answer
It looks like after the introduction of Whatsapp my SMS inbox is only there for my network operator..
3:22 AM
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It looks like after the introduction of Whatsapp my SMS inbox is only there for my network operator..
Saturday, September 28, 2013
10 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and...
11:52 PM
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10 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.
Yar aj mujy ajeeb msg aya or mera mobile...
11:41 PM
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1stSrdar: Yar aj mujy ajeeb msg aya or mera mobile off ho gya
2nd Srdar:Kya likha tha.?
Srdar: Battery low
2nd Srdar:mUjy sEnd kr, sb kO tAng krUn gA..!!
2nd Srdar:Kya likha tha.?
Srdar: Battery low
2nd Srdar:mUjy sEnd kr, sb kO tAng krUn gA..!!
Wo konsa DEPARTMENT hy jis me ORAT kaam nhi kr sakti?
11:38 PM
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TEACHER: Wo konsa DEPARTMENT hy jis me ORAT kaam nhi kr sakti?
STUDENT:FIRE BRIGADE.
Techr:Q?
Student:AURTON ka kaam AAG lgana hy bhujana nahi.
STUDENT:FIRE BRIGADE.
Techr:Q?
Student:AURTON ka kaam AAG lgana hy bhujana nahi.
Duniya Chand Pe Pahuch Gayi Aur Tu Yahi
9:00 PM
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Railway toilet me likha tha:
"Duniya Chand Pe Pahuch Gayi Aur Tu Yahi Baitha Hai..."
mene niche likh ke aaya:
"Chand pe pani nahi Esliye wapas aaya tha...Bas ja rha hu vapas
me: *puts earphones in*...
8:22 PM
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me: *puts earphones in*
me:
me:
me:
me:
me:
me:
me:
me:
me:
me: oh right
me: *plays music*
Thanks GOD for allowing me to wake up on this morning allowing me to experience another day on this amazing Earth .
8:21 PM
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Thanks GOD for allowing me to wake up on this morning allowing me to experience another day on this amazing Earth .
"If I can give you anything, I would give you my eyes so you can realize how much special you are for me.
8:18 PM
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"If I can give you anything, I would give you my eyes so you can realize how much special you are for me.
People posting … Damn it’s October already? What the hell did you think came...
8:17 PM
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People posting … Damn it’s October already? What the hell did you think came after September ? September Jr.?
Wife treats hubby by taking him to a Strip Club on his birthday!!
8:15 PM
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Wife treats hubby by taking him to a Strip Club on his birthday!!
At The Club, The Doorman Says, "Hi Jim, How are You?"
The wife asks, "How does he know you?
Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him."
Inside,the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?"
Jim says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts Team."
Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do You Crave the Special Again??"
The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her & jumps into a taxi.
The Taxi driver Says, "Hey Jimmy Boy! You picked up an ugly one this time.."
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Jim's Funeral is on Monday.
Do you know that GRAVITY is stronger at ...
7:45 PM
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Do you know that GRAVITY is stronger at morning?
?
?
...
??
It is proven in the fact
Its so hard to get up
from the bed.. :P
GOOD MORNING
?
?
...
??
It is proven in the fact
Its so hard to get up
from the bed.. :P
GOOD MORNING
Kaisa lgta hy..?Barasti baarish may
7:42 PM
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Kaisa lgta hy..?
Barasti baarish may
Hawa k jhonkon k sang
Khamoshi se
Chalte hue
Koi apka hath thaam k
Hoolay se keh de...
"A swetar landay da paya ay?
Barasti baarish may
Hawa k jhonkon k sang
Khamoshi se
Chalte hue
Koi apka hath thaam k
Hoolay se keh de...
"A swetar landay da paya ay?
Beautiful Teacher: Agar main tumhari ammi hoti to...
7:39 PM
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Beautiful Teacher: Agar main tumhari ammi hoti to tumhain 2 din mein
sudhaar deti.
Student: Main 2, 3 din mein abbu se mashwara kar k batata hon
sudhaar deti.
Student: Main 2, 3 din mein abbu se mashwara kar k batata hon
text game: mera dusra name rakho
7:37 PM
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mera dusra name rakho ______.
But new name ap k name k last word se start ho na chahiy
Send it to ur frnds & see ur many names.
But reply me 1st..?
But new name ap k name k last word se start ho na chahiy
Send it to ur frnds & see ur many names.
But reply me 1st..?
In a partyPathan asked a girl:
7:34 PM
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In a party
Pathan asked a girl:
Aap Dance karain gi?
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Larki khari ho kr:
haan..
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Pathan:
To main ap ki kursi Lay Loon?
Pathan asked a girl:
Aap Dance karain gi?
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Larki khari ho kr:
haan..
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Pathan:
To main ap ki kursi Lay Loon?
Keya Khabar Thi K Chalay Gi Kabhi Aisi Bhi Hawa...
7:30 PM
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"Keya Khabar Thi K Chalay Gi Kabhi Aisi Bhi Hawa...
"YAARO
"K Khushk Patton Ki Tarha Hum Sab Dost Bikhar Jayein Gay......!
Miss U friends
"YAARO
"K Khushk Patton Ki Tarha Hum Sab Dost Bikhar Jayein Gay......!
Miss U friends
Two places are Best to Stay in this world.
7:28 PM
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Two places are Best to Stay in this world.
To be in Someone's Thoughts..!
To be in Someone's heart..!
Keep me in both..
To be in Someone's Thoughts..!
To be in Someone's heart..!
Keep me in both..
2014 ki amad per dil se dua h kApko hamari or hamey apki
7:25 PM
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2014 ki amad per dil se dua h k
Apko hamari or hamey apki shadi k card jald se jald mosol hun.Aameen
dua me hisa daal k agey brhaen
regards (K.p)kunwari party!
Apko hamari or hamey apki shadi k card jald se jald mosol hun.Aameen
dua me hisa daal k agey brhaen
regards (K.p)kunwari party!
only one person in the world can order a women to stop talking...
8:10 AM
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only one person in the
world can order a women to
stop talking and in reply
she gives a smile to
him............
..and he is.............
the photographer
me: better check my phone for texts from...
6:11 AM
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me: better check my phone for texts from friends
me: *checks phone*
me: better get some friends.
"Success is not a miracle, but a product of productivity, positivity and persistent thinking" - Lawrence Mudau
3:35 AM
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"Success is not a miracle, but a product of productivity, positivity and persistent thinking" - Lawrence Mudau
Deadlines aren't bad. They help you organize your time. They help you set priorities. They make you get going when you might not feel like it !
3:18 AM
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Deadlines aren't bad. They help you organize your time. They help you set priorities. They make you get going when you might not feel like it !
If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.
3:18 AM
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An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.”
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look; I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking Frog.... that’s cool!!!”.........
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.”
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look; I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking Frog.... that’s cool!!!”.........
Life will just not wait for us to live it: We are in it...
12:39 AM
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“Life will just not wait for us to live it:
We are in it, now, and Now is the time to Live”
Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn't have any solution...
12:37 AM
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Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn't have any solution, it's a.............
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Woman
I did 10 one arm push-ups this morning, I was trying...
12:30 AM
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I did 10 one arm push-ups this morning, I was trying to get up off of the floor without putting down my beer.
I'm that horrible friend who reads your text then puts...
12:24 AM
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I'm that horrible friend who reads your text then puts the phone down to do something and forgets to reply until 4 hours later!
Friday, September 27, 2013
Me and a random girl on Fb: Girl:- “You never smile na?”
11:44 PM
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Me and a random girl on Fb:
Girl:- “You never smile na?”
Me :- “How can you say this?”
Girl:- "I've never seen your smiling pictures” .
Me :- “ok then by that logic , you never Bath na”
Some people are so important in our life, Not because we enjoy their company, but because we feel so lonely in their absence..
10:37 PM
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Some people are so important in our life, Not because we enjoy their company, but because we feel so lonely in their absence..
Ek shadi me ek ladka 1 ladki ko...
10:34 PM
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Ek shadi me ek ladka 1 ladki ko
bahut dhyan se dekh rha tha ....
Girl : -- impress hokar --
kyo dekh rhe ho itni der de - . .
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Boy-- I was thinking agar aap
meri mummy hoti to,
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mai bhi kitna sundar hota
I sent an angel to watch over you last night, it returned in a hurry
9:01 PM
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I sent an angel to watch over you last night, it returned in a hurry, I asked it why, it said "Angels can't watch porn" Thanks for traumatizing my f**king angel
I heard, U are providing Free WIFE in the room?
8:55 PM
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A man 2 hotel Receptionist in the midnight-
I heard, U are providing Free WIFE in the room?
Receptionist: Sorry Sir, Its not "Free WIFE" Its "Free Wi-Fi"!
now i realized it is not worth my time... i have to move on..
8:28 PM
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Ok now i realized it is not worth my time... i have to move on... have so many things to do... than to think about revenge... i will forget about everything... and be happy...
In the end you'll see who is fake, who is true and who would risk it all for you, and trust me, some people will totally surprise you.
8:24 PM
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In the end you'll see who is fake, who is true and who would risk it all
for you, and trust me, some people will totally surprise you.
Larka : Me aap se dosti karna chahta hon..
8:23 AM
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Larka : Me aap se dosti karna chahta hon..,,,
MEh : Bhai Hamari dushmani kab thi.,,,,,
(.")/ lo sari bat
<)) hi khatam kardi
_//_May nA. hahahah
A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.
8:21 AM
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A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.
In Africa A black boy to his black girl friend on a dark night near
7:08 AM
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In Africa
A black boy to his black girl friend on a dark night near sea, asked in very romantic mood
Darling
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Plz smile Where r u.?:
Every man should always have a Cockroach somewhere in his bedroom ..... just for safety issues who knows ?
7:02 AM
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Every man should always have a Cockroach somewhere in his bedroom ..... just for safety issues who knows ?
Girls buy a lot of footwear because : Instead of applying breaks, they skid their feet to stop the Scooty ......
6:45 AM
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Girls buy a lot of footwear because : Instead of applying breaks, they skid their feet to stop the Scooty ......
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her
6:31 AM
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"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of Shit."
Wife: tum ny shadi se pehle mujhay btaya q nahin k...
6:22 AM
No comments
Wife: tum ny shadi se pehle mujhay btaya q nahin k tumhari 1 biwi hai jiska nam rani hai..
Husband: btaya to tha k shadi ke baad tumhen Rani jesa rakhun ga
Santa in computer exam ; Examiner: What is Microsoft Excel ??
6:09 AM
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Santa in computer exam ;
Examiner: What is Microsoft
Excel ??
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Santa: It is a new branch of Surf
Excel to clean the computer.
Student in a Hostel(dost se): Yaar dhokha ho gaya.
6:01 AM
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Student in a Hostel(dost se): Yaar dhokha ho
gaya.
Dost: Kyon kya hua?
.
student: bhai bura ho gya..
dost: are hua kya??
.
student: are yar barbaad ho gya...loot gya
dost: bhai izzat to ni gyi na...
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Student: Maine papa se books ke liye paise
mangawaye,
papa ne books hi bhej di.....mai to loot gya
Sheikh 8th fLoor se neeche...
5:21 AM
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Sheikh 8th fLoor se neeche gir gya
Girte huwe kitchen ki window k pas phncha to apni BV ko dekh kar chiLaya
.
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Shaguftaaaaaaaa
meri ROTI na
Pakaeeeeeeen:
Let them miss you. Sometimes when you’re always available, they take you for granted because they think you’ll always stay.
5:13 AM
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Let them miss you. Sometimes when you’re always available, they take you for granted because they think you’ll always stay.
Most people want a perfect relationship.... I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
5:12 AM
No comments
Most people want a perfect relationship.... I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
An elderly man in London calls his...
2:21 AM
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An elderly man in London calls his son in New York and says; 'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 50 years of marriage and that much misery is enough!'
'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says. 'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about his, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.' She calls her Father immediately, and screams at him, 'You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're both coming for our anniversary and paying their own airfare!!'
Hope is wishing something would happen. Faith is believing it will happen. Courage is making it happen.
2:21 AM
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Hope is wishing something would happen.
Faith is believing it will happen. Courage is making it happen.
They say: "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". The problem is, nowadays you can't tell them apart
1:51 AM
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They say: "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". The problem is, nowadays you can't tell them apart
Thursday, September 26, 2013
"You know you are in the wrong neighborhood when your portable GPS says "Drive faster and put me under the seat"
11:49 PM
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"You know you are in the wrong neighborhood when your portable GPS says "Drive faster and put me under the seat"
Wife (on phone) Suniye ji, window open nahi rahi hai.
11:46 PM
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Wife (on phone)
Suniye ji, window open nahi rahi hai.
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Husband- Aisa karo thoda tel garam kar ke us par daal do.
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Wife - Kya usese kaam ho jayega.
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Husband- Try to karo.
After 15 mins ,
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husband calls wife
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Husband- Tumne try kiya??
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Wife - Haan kiya, par ab laptop hi
bandh ho gaya.
Never KISS a lady police,
10:53 PM
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Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.
Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please
Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time.
Best Way to Propose A Girl.
10:44 PM
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Best Way to Propose A Girl.
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Take her to the Sea,
Ask her to sit In the Boat,
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take the boat in the middle
Of the Sea,,
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Then say her to marry you
Or Leave Your Boat
Right Now = P = D
جن رشتوں کی بیناد خلوص و محبت کے بجائے غرض اور خواہشات پر ہو، انکی حقیقت پانی کے بلبلے جیسی ہوتی ہے اور بلبلے کا کیا بنا، بن کر مٹ گیا
10:41 PM
No comments
جن رشتوں کی بیناد خلوص و محبت کے بجائے غرض اور خواہشات پر ہو، انکی حقیقت پانی کے بلبلے جیسی ہوتی ہے اور بلبلے کا کیا بنا، بن کر مٹ گیا
how is your hearing now?
10:38 PM
No comments
In a Dallas church one Sunday morning, a preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs'who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."
With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed.
He prayed a "blue streak" for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"
Leroy answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til Thursday."
tell me who is STUPID?
10:34 PM
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Awesome Answer:
Boss (angrily): tell me who is STUPID?
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You or I?
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Employee (calmly): Boss, everyone knows that you don't give jobs to STUPID people.
I always enjoy asking little kids what they wanna be when they grow up....cuz...
8:39 PM
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I always enjoy asking little kids what they wanna be when they grow up....cuz...you know.... I'm still looking for ideas.
I only make time for positive things. No time for negativity. Life is too short and too beautiful
11:16 AM
No comments
I only make time for positive things. No time for negativity. Life is too short and too beautiful
Wife Ne Pati Ke Gaal Pe , Thapad Maar Kar ...
11:09 AM
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Wife Ne Pati Ke Gaal Pe ,
Thapad Maar Kar Machhar maar Diya..
Pati Gusse Se- thappad Kyu Maara?
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Wife : Mere Hote Hue Koi Dusra Tumhara Khoon Piye,
Ye Mujhe pasand Nahi
don’t start an argument with a girl because they all have 43050194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 14:29PM on 07/05/2008!
11:07 AM
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don’t start an argument with a girl because they all have 43050194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 14:29PM on 07/05/2008!
The C.E.O. was walking in the factory, he noticed a...
11:01 AM
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The C.E.O. was walking in the factory, he noticed a guy leaning against the wall, looking somewhere.. He approached the man & asked him, "How much do you earn?"
guy was amazed n said, "3000, sir."
CEO took out wallet n gave the guy 9000 n told him, "I pay people here 2 work n not 2 waste time.. This is ur 3 month's salary n now get out of here NEVER come back.."
The CEO now looked at other workers & asked, "Who was that guy?"
Workers replied, "He was the pizza delivery guy sir..."
Friday is like Dating Saturday is like Marriage Sunday is like ...
11:00 AM
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Friday is like Dating
Saturday is like Marriage
Sunday is like Honeymoon
Monday to Thursday is like Married Life
The Husband is the Head of the Family, But
10:56 AM
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The Husband is the Head of the Family,
But
Wife is the Neck of the Family,
which
can turn the head any where she wants
"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." ~William James
9:55 AM
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"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another."
~William James
You can't just keep playing with someone's feelings because you are unsure about your own.
6:10 AM
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You can't just keep playing with someone's feelings because you are unsure about your own.
A Japanese ship was en route in the open sea. The Japanese captain went for a shower
5:12 AM
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A Japanese ship was en route in the open sea. The Japanese captain went for a shower removing his diamond ring and Rolex watch on the table. When he returned, his valuables were missing.
The Captain immediately called five suspected crew members and asked each one where and what he was doing for the last 15 minutes.
The Phillipino cook (in a heavy overcoat): I was in fridge room getting meat for cooking.
The Indian Engineer (with a torch in hand): I was working on generator engine.
The Sri Lankan seaman: I was on the mast correcting the flag which was upside down by mistake.
The British Radio officer: I was messaging to company that we are reaching next port in 72 hrs from now, that is Wednesday morning at 1000 hrs.
The British navigation officer: I am on night watch, so I was sleeping in my cabin.
The captain caught the liar. So who is the thief?
Answer: Sri Lankan, Japanese flag is same from all direction, hence cannot be upside down by mistake.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
5:06 AM
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
DoctOr: Aap K Father Ki B0DY MeiN -WHiTE Cell- Khatam Hogye Hain.
1:23 PM
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DoctOr:
Aap K Father Ki B0DY MeiN -WHiTE Cell- Khatam Hogye Hain.
.
.
Sardar Bahir Gaya Or th0ri Dair Baad Aa kAr B0LA:
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.
D0CT0R Sab
WHiTE t0 nAhi Mily
Ye -RED T0SHiBA- K Mily Hain
Yehi DAAL D0
Doc:
Ooye Anni daya Aye tera Abba Ey China da Bandar Nahi.
Aap K Father Ki B0DY MeiN -WHiTE Cell- Khatam Hogye Hain.
.
.
Sardar Bahir Gaya Or th0ri Dair Baad Aa kAr B0LA:
.
.
.
.
.
.
D0CT0R Sab
WHiTE t0 nAhi Mily
Ye -RED T0SHiBA- K Mily Hain
Yehi DAAL D0
Doc:
Ooye Anni daya Aye tera Abba Ey China da Bandar Nahi.
At the mall I was guiding my girl friend "how to...
10:10 AM
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At the mall I was guiding my girl friend
"how to save money while shopping".
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. .
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She taught me- "How to change boyfriend in a minute"
ﺷﺎﺩﯼ ﮐﯽ ﭘﮩﻠﯽ ﺭﺍﺕ
7:11 AM
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ﺷﺎﺩﯼ ﮐﯽ ﭘﮩﻠﯽ ﺭﺍﺕ
ﺷﻮﮬﺮ :
ﺳﺐ ﺳﮯ ﭘﯿﺎﺭ ﺳﮯ ﺭﮨﻨﺎ
ﺳﺐ ﮐﯽ ﻋﺰﺕ ﮐﺮﻧﺎ
ﺳﺐ ﮐﺎ ﺣﯿﺎﻝ ﺭﮐﮭﻨﺎ
ﺳﭻ ﺑﻮﻟﻨﺎ ﮨﻤﯿﺸﮧ
ﺩﻭﺳﺮﻭﮞ ﮐﯽ ﻣﺪﺩ ﮐﺮﻧﺎ
ﺑﮍﻭﮞ ﮐﺎ ﺍﺧﺘﺮﺍﻡ ﮐﺮﻧﺎ
ﺑﭽﻮﮞ ﺳﮯ ﭘﯿﺎﺭ ﮐﺮﻧﺎ
ﺑﯿﻮﯼ :: ﮐﻤﺮﮮ ﮐﺎ ﺩﺭﻭﺍﺯﮦ
ﮐﮭﻮﻝ ﮐﺮ
.
.
.
..
.
ﺳﺐ ﺍﻧﺪﺭ ﺁﺟﺎﺅ ﯾﮩﺎﮞ ﺩﺭﺱ ﮨﻮ
ﺭﮨﺎ ﮨﮯ
Googling your symptoms when you don't feel well is the most efficient way to convince yourself you're dying.
12:48 AM
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Googling your symptoms when you don't feel well is the most efficient way to convince yourself you're dying.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Boys are so INNOCENT...
5:49 AM
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Boys are so INNOCENT...
IN Bikini 90% BODY IS EXPOSED ...
AND 10% IS COVERED ,,,
BUT STILL BOYS EYES FALL ON 10% COVERED AREA...
<<<SO INNOCENT THEY ARE >>
kamlesh and kavita were both patients in a mental hospital..
3:43 AM
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The love story of kamlesh and kavita.
kamlesh and kavita were both patients in a mental hospital..
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.
kamlesh suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
kavita promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of kavita heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell kavita the news she said, 'kavita, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.
I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, kamlesh hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.
I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Kavita replied (you'll love this) .
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry..How soon can I go home?'
kamlesh and kavita were both patients in a mental hospital..
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.
kamlesh suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
kavita promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of kavita heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell kavita the news she said, 'kavita, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.
I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, kamlesh hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.
I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Kavita replied (you'll love this) .
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry..How soon can I go home?'
Monday, September 23, 2013
A man and his wife were having some...
8:53 PM
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A man and his wife were having some problems and were giving each other the silent treatment.
The next week, the man realized that he'd need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper: "Please wake me at 5 a.m."
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9 a.m. and he'd missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and scream at his wife when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed that said:
"It's 5 a.m. Wake up.
The next week, the man realized that he'd need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper: "Please wake me at 5 a.m."
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9 a.m. and he'd missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and scream at his wife when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed that said:
"It's 5 a.m. Wake up.
Laughter is the Best Medicine but...
8:49 PM
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Laughter is the
Best Medicine
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but if you are laughing
without any reason;
''you need medicine..''
Best Medicine
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but if you are laughing
without any reason;
''you need medicine..''
A dream doesn't become reality through magic. it takes sweat, determination and hard work.
8:48 PM
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A dream doesn't become reality through magic. it takes sweat, determination and hard work.
Father: what is your position in the class?
9:57 AM
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Father: what is your position in the class?
Son: highest of all,
Father : Is it? how?
Son: I always stand on the bench......
Son: highest of all,
Father : Is it? how?
Son: I always stand on the bench......
Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you...
6:47 AM
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Alice Walker said "Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself."
What can you do today to make yourself happy?
"I need to talk to you..."
5:03 AM
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"I need to talk to you..."
is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you've ever done in your life.
What goes around comes around. That’s what people say. So all the pain you caused me will come back to you someday...
4:50 AM
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What goes around comes around. That’s what people say. So all the pain you caused me will come back to you someday.
Boys are like ...
3:09 AM
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Boys are like stars, there are millions of them out there, but only one can make your dreams come true.
Be fearless when it comes to life, and careless when it comes to what people say and think about you.
3:08 AM
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Be fearless when it comes to life, and careless when it comes to what people say and think about you.
If a man is allowed to select a girl from 90...
1:50 AM
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If a man is allowed to select a girl
from 90 girls
.
and
.
.
Even if most beautiful is picked,
.
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There's still the pain of losing
the remaining EIGHTY NINE..
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
1:46 AM
No comments
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
remember, if someone pisses you off it takes 42...
12:38 AM
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remember, if someone pisses you off it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the mofo :)
If you cheat on someone that's willing to do anything for you, you actually cheated yourself.
12:14 AM
No comments
If you cheat on someone that's willing to do anything for you, you actually cheated yourself.
Wife : I hate that beggar.
12:13 AM
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Wife : I hate that beggar.
Husband : Why?
Wife : Rascal, yesterday I gave him food today he gave me a book "How to Cook"
Husband : Why?
Wife : Rascal, yesterday I gave him food today he gave me a book "How to Cook"
We all give pretty cool advices to our friends..do this and do dat..but wen it comes to ourselves we hardly follow the same..
12:02 AM
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We all give pretty cool advices to our friends..do this and do dat..but wen it comes to ourselves we hardly follow the same..
Sunday, September 22, 2013
After 15 years of marriage a wife asked her husband to describe her.
11:57 PM
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After 15 years of marriage a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said: ABCDEFGHIJK.
"What does that mean?" she asked. ??
"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot" he replied.
Smiling she asked: What about IJK?
He replied: I'm Just Kidding!
He looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said: ABCDEFGHIJK.
"What does that mean?" she asked. ??
"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot" he replied.
Smiling she asked: What about IJK?
He replied: I'm Just Kidding!
A police officer came up to me yesterday and said,
11:15 PM
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A police officer came up to me yesterday and said,
"Where were you between four and six?"
.
I said, "Kindergarten."
"Where were you between four and six?"
.
I said, "Kindergarten."
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door...
11:14 PM
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A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."
When One Door Closes, another Door Opens....
9:43 PM
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When One Door Closes, another Door Opens" ................... another Reason i will Never Hire this Crappy Carpenter Again!
Every time I meet a woman and think, wow she is amazing I...
9:30 PM
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Every time I meet a woman and think, wow she is amazing I think we could have something special together,
My wife messes it all up
Just because I'm not forever by your side ...
9:23 PM
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“Just because I'm not forever by your side doesn't mean that's not precisely where I want to be.”
Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you...
9:21 PM
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Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.
— Mary Tyler Moore
99% will get this wrong !!
2:12 PM
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Dimag hai to jawab dain ;))
99% will get this wrong !!
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When i was 4 yearx old my brother was
half my age..now i m 20 !! How old is my
brother ??
99% will get this wrong !!
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When i was 4 yearx old my brother was
half my age..now i m 20 !! How old is my
brother ??
A typical macho man married a typical good looking lady, and...
2:11 PM
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A typical macho man married a typical good
looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down
the following rules. "I'll be home when I want, if
I want, what time I want, and I don't expect any
hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on
the table, unless I tell you that I won't be home
for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and
card playing when I want with my old buddies,
and don't you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new
bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just
understand that there will be sex here at seven
o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."
looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down
the following rules. "I'll be home when I want, if
I want, what time I want, and I don't expect any
hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on
the table, unless I tell you that I won't be home
for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and
card playing when I want with my old buddies,
and don't you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new
bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just
understand that there will be sex here at seven
o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."
Select Any Lucky Thing
11:19 AM
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Select Any Lucky Thing
Let See ap ka couple kaisa ha/kaisa ho ga
1.Tea And Sugar
2.Salt And Biryani
3.Water And Jug
4.Moon And Night
5.Eyes And Lips
Answers:
1. Ek Dusre Ko Boht Chahne Wale
2. Possesive Love Dono Tarf Se
3. Dilo Mein Pyar Ha Pr Na Ap Izhar Krte Ho Na Wo.
4. Very Romentic Love
5. Ek Doosre Ko Tut K Chahne Wale.
*BRAIN TEST**
7:55 AM
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*BRAIN TEST**
99% will not get this!!!!!
.
.
Tom Took The Two Ties To Tie...
The Two Tall Trees.
.
How many T's are in THAT??
.
Answer fast!!
You can learn from everyone who passes through your life, some lessons are...
3:15 AM
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You can learn from everyone who passes through your life, some lessons are painful, some
are painless but all of them are priceless
are painless but all of them are priceless
When a Boy Sends a Dirty SMS.. . . . She Laughs For 10
3:14 AM
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When a Boy Sends a Dirty SMS..
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.
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She Laughs For 10 Minutes,
Forwards that to Her Friends (Girls),
Then Replies to the Boy
.
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"Ewww, I don't like such stuff,
I am not that kind of girl"
Some day you're going to make some rich dude a very happy man. But his wife .
3:06 AM
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Some day you're going to make some rich dude a very happy man. But
his wife won't be happy at all.
his wife won't be happy at all.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Don't waste your time looking back on ...
6:15 PM
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Don't waste your time
looking back on what you've lost .Move on ,
for life is not meant to b traveled backwards...........
looking back on what you've lost .Move on ,
for life is not meant to b traveled backwards...........
Just Remember that somewhere out there, someone is thinking of You and...
6:12 PM
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Just Remember that somewhere out there, someone is thinking of You and the Impact you have made in their Life .............. it's not me though ...... i think you're an Idiot.
A strong friendship doesn't always need daily conversation or...
6:05 PM
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A strong friendship doesn't always need daily conversation or togetherness, as long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part.
A man who is dying in the hospital is surrounded his two sons, daughter and his wife and nurse.
5:53 PM
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A man who is dying in the hospital is surrounded his two sons, daughter and his wife and nurse.
Says to his eldest son:
- To you, Peter, I leave the Beverly houses.
- To you, my dear daughter, I leave the apartments in the Los Angeles Plaza.
- To you, Charlie, being my youngest son with a large future, I leave the City Center offices.
- And you, my dear wife, the three residential buildings towers in downtown.
The nurse, impressed, tells his wife: Madam, your husband is very rich. He is having many properties! You all are so lucky!!
And the wife retorts:
Rich??? Lucky???
He is a Milkman!!! Those are his routes where he delivers milk !!!!
Says to his eldest son:
- To you, Peter, I leave the Beverly houses.
- To you, my dear daughter, I leave the apartments in the Los Angeles Plaza.
- To you, Charlie, being my youngest son with a large future, I leave the City Center offices.
- And you, my dear wife, the three residential buildings towers in downtown.
The nurse, impressed, tells his wife: Madam, your husband is very rich. He is having many properties! You all are so lucky!!
And the wife retorts:
Rich??? Lucky???
He is a Milkman!!! Those are his routes where he delivers milk !!!!
Mazdoor: Khabi Khabi mere dill main khial ata hai...
2:19 PM
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Mazdoor: Khabi Khabi mere dill main khial ata hai,
2nd Mazdoor: Batao kya khial ata hai?
1st Mazdoor: Jab bijli nahi, Pani nahi, to Bill kaha se ata hai?
By comparing your kid with others ...
2:18 PM
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By comparing your kid with others you might even loose the qualities he had in himself .. Which distinguish him from all the other kids— start Appreciating !!
Between ten people, nine maybe in love with you..
1:57 PM
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Between ten people, nine maybe in love with you..
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..
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But, You'll fall in love exactly for that one who
doesn't love you... <♥>
Friday, September 20, 2013
Wife is busy packing her clothes...
11:43 AM
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Wife is busy packing her clothes.
Man: And where are you going?
Wife: I'm moving to my mother.
Husband also starts packing.
Wife: And where do you think your going?
Husband: I'm also moving to my mother.
Wife: And what about the kids?
Husband: Well if you are moving to your mother and I'm moving to my mother then I guess they must also move to their mother
"Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and ...
11:39 AM
No comments
"Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A 'you can do it' when things are tough." -Richard M. DeVos
ایک کسان نے اپنے دس کے دس بچوں کو ایک قطار میں کھڑا کیا ہوا تھا۔ اور ان سے
11:32 AM
No comments
.ایک کسان نے اپنے دس کے دس بچوں کو ایک قطار میں کھڑا کیا ہوا تھا۔ اور ان سے تفتیش ہورہی تھی کہ
" بتاؤ چھت پر رکھے ڈرم کو کس نے دھکا دے کر سیڑھیوں سے نیچے گرایا ؟ "
کسی بچے نے کوئی جواب نہ دیا۔
کسان نے پھر زور دے کے پوچھا۔" ڈرم کو کس نے دھکا دے کر سیڑھیوں سے نیچے گرایا تھا؟"
ایک بار پھر کسی نے جواب نہ دیا۔...
کسان نے کہا۔ " ٹھیک ہے ۔ میں ایک کہانی سناتا ہوں ۔ ایک تھا بادشاہ اور ایک تھا اس کا بیٹا شہزاد...ہ۔ ایک دن شہزادے نے کلہاڑے سے بادشاہ کا پسندیدہ انار کا درخت کاٹ دیا۔ بادشاہ کو پتہ چلا تو اس نے سب سے پوچھا کہ درخت کس نے کاٹا ؟۔ شہزادے نے سچ بولا کہ اس نے درخت کاٹا۔ بادشاہ اس کے سچ بولنے پر خوش ہوا اور اس کو کوئی سزا نہ دی۔ اور اس کو معاف کردیا۔ اب بتاؤ کہ ڈرم کو دھکا کس نے دیا تھا؟ "
یہ سن کر سب سے چھوٹا بیٹا بول پڑا کہ ڈرم کو اس نے دھکا دیا تھا۔
کسان نے آگے بڑھ کر بیٹے کو دو تین تھپڑ لگا دیے ۔
تھپڑ کھا کر معصوم بیٹا رونے لگ گیا اور اپنے سرخ انار جیسے گال سہلاتا ہوا بولا ۔
" شہزادہ سچ بولا ، اس کو سزا نہیں ۔ میں سچ بولا تو مجھے سزا کیوں؟ "
کسان نے جواب دیا۔" جس وقت شہزادے نے درخت کاٹا تھا بادشاہ درخت کے اندر جو نہیں تھا
بیوی :میں تمہاری یاد میں پندرہ دن میں آدھی مر گئی ہوں
11:29 AM
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بیوی :میں تمہاری یاد میں پندرہ دن میں آدھی مر گئی ہوں
مجھے لینے کب آ رہے ہو ؟؟
.
.
.
.
شوہر : پندرہ دن بعد !!!!!!!
My girlfriend asked me "What is Your Favorite...
11:29 AM
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My girlfriend asked me "What is Your Favorite
position?"...
.
.
I said "Chief Executive Officer" and we laughed &
laughed.... .
.
.
.
and I am Single again.
An Arab Couple went to London hotel...
10:28 AM
No comments
An Arab Couple went to London hotel...
One day in hotel room husband heard his wife scream
"Farr! Faaaarrrrr"
(which is the arabic word for mouse).
Now he wanted to inform room service but dn't know English word for
"farr" is
.....Husband : hello room service?
Room service: yes sir ,how can i help u ?
Husband: Mmmm..... U Know tom and Jerry ?
Room service: yes sir ,i know tom and jerry ...
Husband: Wallah Habibi Jerry is here
One day in hotel room husband heard his wife scream
"Farr! Faaaarrrrr"
(which is the arabic word for mouse).
Now he wanted to inform room service but dn't know English word for
"farr" is
.....Husband : hello room service?
Room service: yes sir ,how can i help u ?
Husband: Mmmm..... U Know tom and Jerry ?
Room service: yes sir ,i know tom and jerry ...
Husband: Wallah Habibi Jerry is here
Wife , maire tabiat kuch theek nahi lag rhi
10:04 AM
No comments
Wife , maire tabiat kuch theek nahi lag rhi
Husband , Oh main to shopping pay janay ka soch rha tha
Wife, main to mazaq kar rhi the
Husband , main bhi mazaq kar rha tha Chal hun roti paka
Husband , Oh main to shopping pay janay ka soch rha tha
Wife, main to mazaq kar rhi the
Husband , main bhi mazaq kar rha tha Chal hun roti paka
A boy with his father went to Doctor with infection on His face.
9:48 AM
No comments
A boy with his father went to Doctor with infection on His face.
After Checkup
Dr said:
Apni Gf ko bolo Lipstick ka Brand badle. Tumy MEDORA se Allergy hai.
Father ghuse se dekhne laga.
Boy: Dr sahab ghar jayen tu apni beti ko bta dyna.
Docter to father: -Paen tusi enu pehle kuto gaye ya mai?-
After Checkup
Dr said:
Apni Gf ko bolo Lipstick ka Brand badle. Tumy MEDORA se Allergy hai.
Father ghuse se dekhne laga.
Boy: Dr sahab ghar jayen tu apni beti ko bta dyna.
Docter to father: -Paen tusi enu pehle kuto gaye ya mai?-
Hearing my own voice on recording makes me want to...
7:34 AM
No comments
Hearing my own voice on recording makes me
want to apologize to every single person ive
talked to like im really sorry
want to apologize to every single person ive
talked to like im really sorry
New born baby slowly opens its tiny eyes and ask nurse...
6:29 AM
No comments
New born baby slowly opens its
tiny eyes and ask nurse- Why no
light.?
.
.
Nurse- Power cut...
.
.
Baby- Saaala....Phir se Pak
me paida ho gya.!!
Question:" Why AMBULANCE is WHITE in color ??. Answer from Pappu....
4:47 AM
No comments
Question:" Why AMBULANCE is WHITE in color ?? (15 marks)
Answer from Pappu
Ans:" AMBULANCE has OXYGEN cylinder,
Oxygen is a gas,
GAS is used 4 cooking FOOD,
FOOD is source of VITAMINS,
WE get Vit-D from SUN,
SUN produces LIGHT,
LIGHT comes from bulbs,
Small BULBS are used to decorate CHRISTMAS tree,
CHRISTMAS means GIFTS,
GIFTS are given by SANTA,
SANTA lives in NORTH POLE,
NORTH POLE is the house of POLAR BEARS,
POLAR BEARS are WHITE
That's why ambulance is WHITE
Answer from Pappu
Ans:" AMBULANCE has OXYGEN cylinder,
Oxygen is a gas,
GAS is used 4 cooking FOOD,
FOOD is source of VITAMINS,
WE get Vit-D from SUN,
SUN produces LIGHT,
LIGHT comes from bulbs,
Small BULBS are used to decorate CHRISTMAS tree,
CHRISTMAS means GIFTS,
GIFTS are given by SANTA,
SANTA lives in NORTH POLE,
NORTH POLE is the house of POLAR BEARS,
POLAR BEARS are WHITE
That's why ambulance is WHITE
I'm trying to increase my vegetable intake because my better half wants me...
4:46 AM
No comments
I'm trying to increase my vegetable intake because my better half wants me to eat healthy
Does anyone know how many shots of vodka equals one potato?
Does anyone know how many shots of vodka equals one potato?
Girl: Apple ka Rate kya hai?
4:24 AM
No comments
Girl: Apple ka Rate kya hai?
.
Applewala: 100 Rs ke 10,
.
Girl: kuch kam karo na plz..
.
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.
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.
.
.
Applwala: Acha aap 80 ke 8 lelo
.
Girl: Thanku, dedo..
ye huyi na Baat...
.
Applewala: 100 Rs ke 10,
.
Girl: kuch kam karo na plz..
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
Applwala: Acha aap 80 ke 8 lelo
.
Girl: Thanku, dedo..
ye huyi na Baat...
Life is short and unpredictable, don't waste another minute on the people...
4:22 AM
No comments
Life is short and unpredictable, don't waste another minute on the people, places and things that don't make you happy. Have a beautiful & blessed day my luvlies
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy,"
4:19 AM
No comments
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled,
"we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.
The next day, the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled,
"we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled,
"we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, it's because you're 25."
Most men think that it's better to be tough. But I believe it's better to be...
4:13 AM
No comments
Most men think that it's better to be tough. But I believe it's better to be soft; Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) was a soft man with a tough heart.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
2 Wives chatting in office: Wife 1: I had a fine evening
9:49 PM
No comments
2 Wives chatting in office:
Wife 1: I had a fine evening how was
yours ?????
Wife 2 : It was a disaster.
My husband came home, ate his
dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2
mins.
How was yours ?
Wife 1: Oh mine was amazing !
My husband came home and took me
out for a romantic dinner. After
dinner we walked for an hour. When
we came home he lit the candles
around the house. It was like a fairy
tale !
At the same time, their husbands are
talking at work...
Husband 1: How was your evening ?
Husband 2 : Great.
I came home, dinner was on the
table, I ate & fell asleep.
What about you ?
Husband 1: It was horrible.
I came home, there's no dinner, they
cut the electricity because I forgot to
pay the bill. So I took her out for
dinner which was so expensive that
didn't have money left for a cab or
auto. We walked home which took an
hour & when we got home, I
remembered there was no electricity
so I had to light candles all over the
house !!!!!!!!!!
MORAL: PRESENTATION DOES MATTER ....
NO MATTER WHAT THE REALITY
IS !!!!!!!
Why you use facebook...?
7:37 PM
No comments
Why you use facebook...?
1. For friends
2. For girls
3. For time pass
4. For someone special
5. For family
6. For searching girl frnd or
boyfriend
7. For spoil your life. :
8. For flirting
9. For pages
10. Don't know.. :
11. For Information &
updates.
12. For Fun.
13.time pass
14. Others....
Telling everyone you're quitting FB is like a nine year old saying they...
7:34 PM
No comments
Telling everyone you're quitting FB is like a nine year old saying they are running away, we know you're looking for attention and we know you'll be back
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of
7:32 PM
No comments
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?” asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me asking’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”
The Irishman replies, “Oh… I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?” asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me asking’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”
The Irishman replies, “Oh… I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”
Santa makes call 2 airport: How long is the journey from punjab 2 America??
8:22 AM
No comments
Santa makes call 2 airport: How long is the journey from punjab 2 America??
Receptionist: 1 sec sir..
.
.
.
.
Santa disconnects n says,
''pee ke bethi h kamini"
Receptionist: 1 sec sir..
.
.
.
.
Santa disconnects n says,
''pee ke bethi h kamini"
Pathan ladki dekhne gaya...
8:17 AM
No comments
Pathan ladki dekhne gaya,
usne English mein baat karne ki sochi
aur bola: English chalegi na?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ladki sharmate hue:
soda,namkeen aur leg piece
sath me ho to
DESI bhi chalegi....
usne English mein baat karne ki sochi
aur bola: English chalegi na?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ladki sharmate hue:
soda,namkeen aur leg piece
sath me ho to
DESI bhi chalegi....
don't worry girl, you will find the one who will ruin your lipstick, and not your mascara.
4:41 AM
No comments
don't worry girl, you will find the one who will ruin your lipstick, and not your mascara.
MILLION DOLLAR TRUTH :-
4:40 AM
No comments
MILLION DOLLAR TRUTH :-
"Wife is cute when she is mute" & "Hubby is honey when he gives money" !
"Wife is cute when she is mute" & "Hubby is honey when he gives money" !
انسان کے لئے سب سے مشکل مرحلہ وہ ہوتا ھے جب اس کا دل کسی چیز کی گواہی دے رہا ہو...
4:37 AM
No comments
انسان کے لئے سب سے مشکل مرحلہ وہ ہوتا ھے جب اس کا دل کسی چیز کی گواہی دے رہا ہو مگر اس کی زبان خاموش ہو ۔۔ جب اس کا دماغ چلا چلا کر کسی چیز کی صداقت کا اقرار کر رہا ہو مگر ہونٹ ساکت ہوں
Just when the clock struck 11...
4:35 AM
No comments
There was this case in the hospital's ICU where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m. regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural.
Why the death?
So the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.
So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil...
Just when the clock struck 11...
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.
Santa, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner
"We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future. "
2:38 AM
No comments
"We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future. "
Mistake is a single page of life but relation is a complete book. So don’t lose a full book for a single page..
1:53 AM
No comments
Mistake is a single page of life but relation is a complete book. So don’t lose a full book for a single page..
Sardar ne msjd sy juti chori ki or pkra gya...
1:14 AM
No comments
Sardar ne msjd sy juti chori ki or pkra gya,
Molvi:
Eny juti chuki ay.
Edi 'Tind' kro,
Sardar:1 juti wapis le lo,Tey
YO YO
H0NEY SINGH wali cutting kr deyo.
Molvi:
Eny juti chuki ay.
Edi 'Tind' kro,
Sardar:1 juti wapis le lo,Tey
YO YO
H0NEY SINGH wali cutting kr deyo.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
10:58 PM
No comments
Fact.
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Agar Hand Writing Ki Baat Karen To
Exam Ke Aakhiri 15 Min Mein Har
Student Mein Doctor Ki Aatma Aa Jati
Hai... 3;)
- My cheque was returned with a remark: "Insufficient funds".
10:57 PM
No comments
A client comes to a bank:
- My cheque was returned with a remark: "Insufficient funds".
.
.
I'd like to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank?
- My cheque was returned with a remark: "Insufficient funds".
.
.
I'd like to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank?
I was searching for a meaning to my Life. Then I found...
12:25 PM
No comments
I was searching for a meaning to my Life. Then I found Internet and now.....
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I am searching for a Life
Agar Hand Writing Ki Baat Karen To
12:02 PM
No comments
Fact.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Agar Hand Writing Ki Baat Karen To
Exam Ke Aakhiri 15 Min Mein Har
Student Mein Doctor Ki Aatma Aa Jati
Hai... 3;)
Secret formula for married couples...
11:32 AM
No comments
Secret formula for married couples...
"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle.!!
"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle.!!
Hindi Names Of Hollywood Movies:
11:31 AM
No comments
Hindi Names Of Hollywood Movies:
Taken : Le Li
Taken 2 : Uski bhi Le Li
The Dark Knight :Sanwla Shoorveer
Wrong Turn : Galat Mod Le Liya Be.
Wrong Turn 2 : Saala Phir Se Galat Mod Liya
Terminator : Bhasmasur
Welcome To The Jungle :Anil Kapoor Ki Chhaati Me Aap Ka Swagat Hai .
The Mummy Returns :Mataji Vaapas Aa Rahi Hain.
SAW: Dekha
SAW 2: Phir Se Dekha
SAW 3: Ek Baar Phir Se Dekha
Inception : Khwab Mein Khwab, Dimaag Ka dahi
Sometimes it is about who thought of the idea first and sometimes
11:23 AM
No comments
Sometimes it is about who thought of the idea first and sometimes it is about who executed it the best. The real successful person does both and sets a high benchmark for others to become a role model.
I want you to have a candle-lit dinner and say those magical three words to ...
10:37 AM
No comments
I want you to have a candle-lit dinner and say those magical three words to you …………
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“Pay The bill”
This is what makes us girls We all look for ...
10:35 AM
No comments
This is what makes us girls
We all look for heaven and we put our love first
Somethin' that we'd die for, it's our curse
Don't cry about it,
We don't stick together 'cause we put our love first
Never cry about it....
We all look for heaven and we put our love first
Somethin' that we'd die for, it's our curse
Don't cry about it,
We don't stick together 'cause we put our love first
Never cry about it....
When a woman says we need to talk, what it really means is......
9:23 AM
No comments
When a woman says we need to talk, what it
really means is......
.
.
.
. .
.
.
"you need to listen"
Women will always be women...
9:17 AM
No comments
Women will always be women...
An elderly woman decided to get her portrait
painted.
She told the artist to paint her with a
Diamond necklace and
Diamond ear-rings,
Emerald bracelet,
a broach of Ruby and
a gold Rolex.
The confused artist: But, you aren't wearing
them, nothing of them.
Old lady: I know. But if I die before my husband,
I'm sure he will re-marry and I want his new wife
to go crazy looking and searching for the
jewellery.!!!\
An elderly woman decided to get her portrait
painted.
She told the artist to paint her with a
Diamond necklace and
Diamond ear-rings,
Emerald bracelet,
a broach of Ruby and
a gold Rolex.
The confused artist: But, you aren't wearing
them, nothing of them.
Old lady: I know. But if I die before my husband,
I'm sure he will re-marry and I want his new wife
to go crazy looking and searching for the
jewellery.!!!\
Girl : Mera Facebook Pe Account Ban Sakta Hai Kya??? . . .
7:45 AM
No comments
Girl : Mera Facebook Pe
Account
Ban Sakta Hai Kya???
.
.
. Boy : Haa Yaar Ban Sakta Hai..
Tumhara Kya Kisi Ka Bhi Ban
Sakta Hai..
.
Girl : To Main Apne Account
Me PAISA Jama Kara Sakti Hu.. .
[BOY GIVE A SURPRISE LOOK ]
.
.
Girl : Kya Hua..??? Lagta Hai
Tumko Bhi Zyada Knowledge Nahi Hai
Is Bare Me
Account
Ban Sakta Hai Kya???
.
.
. Boy : Haa Yaar Ban Sakta Hai..
Tumhara Kya Kisi Ka Bhi Ban
Sakta Hai..
.
Girl : To Main Apne Account
Me PAISA Jama Kara Sakti Hu.. .
[BOY GIVE A SURPRISE LOOK ]
.
.
Girl : Kya Hua..??? Lagta Hai
Tumko Bhi Zyada Knowledge Nahi Hai
Is Bare Me
Wife : Ek baat bolu??.. . Husband...
7:37 AM
No comments
Wife : Ek baat bolu??..
.
Husband : Bolo. . .
.
Wife : Maaroge to nahi?. ..
. Husbund : Nahi to, kya baat
hai?. . .
.
Wife : mai pregnant hun.. .. .
.
Husband : Hurray!!! Its gud news,dar
kyu rahi thi?? . ..
.
.
Wife : College ke dino mai papa ko
bataya tha to badi maar padi thi...
.
Husband : Bolo. . .
.
Wife : Maaroge to nahi?. ..
. Husbund : Nahi to, kya baat
hai?. . .
.
Wife : mai pregnant hun.. .. .
.
Husband : Hurray!!! Its gud news,dar
kyu rahi thi?? . ..
.
.
Wife : College ke dino mai papa ko
bataya tha to badi maar padi thi...
My Love, I promise to always be there for you… We are a team, you and me…
7:35 AM
No comments
My Love, I promise to always be there for you… We are a team, you and me… I am on your
side, to support you and to build you up when you are feeling down. I am here to encourage
you and to cheer you, to be your best friend and to love you
side, to support you and to build you up when you are feeling down. I am here to encourage
you and to cheer you, to be your best friend and to love you
G.f. To b.f. . . . . .
7:33 AM
No comments
G.f. To b.f.
.
.
.
.
. .
"darling do u knw , handsome nd
smart boys
always get stupid girlfriend"
.
. .
.
.
.
.
B.f.-"thanx for compliment"
.
.
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.
. .
"darling do u knw , handsome nd
smart boys
always get stupid girlfriend"
.
. .
.
.
.
.
B.f.-"thanx for compliment"
Ek ladka fail hua to uske papa ne kaha- . . . dekh-dekh , padosh ki ladki ko dekh...
7:31 AM
No comments
Ek ladka fail hua to uske papa
ne kaha-
.
.
.
dekh-dekh , padosh ki ladki ko dekh, wo
tumhare sath padhti hai,
.
.
.
1st aayi hai. . . .
.
.
Boy- dekh-dekh kya dekh
.
. Usiko dekh-dekh ke to fail hua
hoon..
ne kaha-
.
.
.
dekh-dekh , padosh ki ladki ko dekh, wo
tumhare sath padhti hai,
.
.
.
1st aayi hai. . . .
.
.
Boy- dekh-dekh kya dekh
.
. Usiko dekh-dekh ke to fail hua
hoon..
Dunia Mai Sab Se Dukhi Aadmi Kon Hai?
7:28 AM
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Dunia Mai Sab Se Dukhi Aadmi Kon Hai? Panipuri Wala !
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.
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. .
.
Kaise?
.
.
. .
.
.
Kyu Ki Ladki Kuwari Ho Ya Married "BHAIYA" Hi
Bulati He.... Koi nai sochta in logo ke baare me ,,
aaj mene socha he.. "Bechara"
.
.
.
.
. .
.
Kaise?
.
.
. .
.
.
Kyu Ki Ladki Kuwari Ho Ya Married "BHAIYA" Hi
Bulati He.... Koi nai sochta in logo ke baare me ,,
aaj mene socha he.. "Bechara"
Malkin:: Tum 3 din say kaam pay nhi aee ?
7:26 AM
No comments
Malkin:: Tum 3 din say kaam
pay nhi aee ? aur batay bhi nhi
.
.
..
.
. .
.
. .
.
Nukarani::Bibi ji...
mainy FB par status update to kiya thaa "GOING TO GAOU" for 3 day's
or
sahib ji nay comment bhe kiya tha.. Missing you sweetheart...
pay nhi aee ? aur batay bhi nhi
.
.
..
.
. .
.
. .
.
Nukarani::Bibi ji...
mainy FB par status update to kiya thaa "GOING TO GAOU" for 3 day's
or
sahib ji nay comment bhe kiya tha.. Missing you sweetheart...
Our generation's sleeping schedule depends on...
4:40 AM
No comments
Our generation's sleeping schedule depends on
.
.
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the percentage of battery remaining in the phone...
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the percentage of battery remaining in the phone...
Relationship in 1995-Agar tum mil jao...
4:38 AM
No comments
Relationship in 1995-Agar tum mil jao...Zamana chhor denge hum.....
Relationship in 2013-Agar tum mil jao....Purana chhor denge hum..
Relationship in 2013-Agar tum mil jao....Purana chhor denge hum..
SANTA ne Padosan ko khat likha
4:38 AM
No comments
SANTA ne Padosan ko khat likha
"I LOVE YOU"
Or
niche likha
Mene English me isliye Likha He
ki
Teri MAA padh na sake
Ki
Muje Tumse Pyar Hai ...
"I LOVE YOU"
Or
niche likha
Mene English me isliye Likha He
ki
Teri MAA padh na sake
Ki
Muje Tumse Pyar Hai ...
Type Of Photographers,
4:36 AM
No comments
Type Of Photographers,
1, The Rich Ones
They Have mony, they buy the latest and most expensive equipments, They take photos in automode. then they lern basics of the manual model and always like to talk about shutter and aperture. Oh and ISO too, They Irritate People by tagging them on their photos,
They Like collecting expersive lenses and flashlights and brag about it but use none.
2. The Desperate ones,
they are inspired by people who have a DSLR. they Just Want To buy one And shoot in auto mode for the rest of their lives, They save money and ask other photographers which lense to buy. they event make a facebook fan page for themselves, They also tag their Friends on photos. They take photos of E
verything,
3. The Real Ones,
They Don`t care about the equipment. They think, they think a lot, They care about the subject. They want to make a Difference through their Photographs. They Spend a lot of time on Field to capture a single meaninful Shot, Their equipment comprises of a camera and lens that is useful for their type of photography. They DON`T tag People on their Photos,
Witch one Are you?
1, The Rich Ones
They Have mony, they buy the latest and most expensive equipments, They take photos in automode. then they lern basics of the manual model and always like to talk about shutter and aperture. Oh and ISO too, They Irritate People by tagging them on their photos,
They Like collecting expersive lenses and flashlights and brag about it but use none.
2. The Desperate ones,
they are inspired by people who have a DSLR. they Just Want To buy one And shoot in auto mode for the rest of their lives, They save money and ask other photographers which lense to buy. they event make a facebook fan page for themselves, They also tag their Friends on photos. They take photos of E
verything,
3. The Real Ones,
They Don`t care about the equipment. They think, they think a lot, They care about the subject. They want to make a Difference through their Photographs. They Spend a lot of time on Field to capture a single meaninful Shot, Their equipment comprises of a camera and lens that is useful for their type of photography. They DON`T tag People on their Photos,
Witch one Are you?
Boys After Drinking...
4:32 AM
No comments
After Drinking -
Boys Talk Unnecessarily,
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Become Emotional...
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Drive Badly...
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Stop Thinking...
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Fight For Nothing...
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Girls can do all these, without Drinking..
Boys Talk Unnecessarily,
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Become Emotional...
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Drive Badly...
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Stop Thinking...
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Fight For Nothing...
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Girls can do all these, without Drinking..
Sunny Leone arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting...
4:29 AM
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Sunny Leone arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting...
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Bhikhari: "Behen ji 1 rupiya dedo..."
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Sunny Loene gave him a 1000 Rs.
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Secretary: "Why did u give him 1000 Rs..?"
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Sunny Loene: "Pehli bar kisi nay behan kaha...dil khush ho gaya
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Bhikhari: "Behen ji 1 rupiya dedo..."
...
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Sunny Loene gave him a 1000 Rs.
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Secretary: "Why did u give him 1000 Rs..?"
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Sunny Loene: "Pehli bar kisi nay behan kaha...dil khush ho gaya
I just tried to kill a spider with hair spray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding!
12:54 AM
No comments
I just tried to kill a spider with hair spray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding!
Pandit ji meri shaadi ko 5 saal hogaye, Par, Ek bhi baccha nahi hua!
12:27 AM
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Pandit ji meri shaadi ko 5 saal hogaye, Par, Ek bhi baccha nahi hua!
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Pandit: mein Badrinath me tumhare naam ka Diya jala
dunga.
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10 saal baad... .Pandit uske ghar aaya. Ghar me
10bacchethe.
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Pandit: Mubarak ho! baccho ke papa kaha hai.....??
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Wife: Badrinath gaye hain, Diya bujhaane....
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Pandit: mein Badrinath me tumhare naam ka Diya jala
dunga.
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10 saal baad... .Pandit uske ghar aaya. Ghar me
10bacchethe.
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Pandit: Mubarak ho! baccho ke papa kaha hai.....??
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Wife: Badrinath gaye hain, Diya bujhaane....
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
The Cutest Proposal of the world from a cute girl to a boy… Girl : “Hey, I have lost my Surname.. Can I use Yours”
9:00 PM
No comments
The Cutest Proposal of the world from a cute girl to a boy…
Girl : “Hey, I have lost my Surname.. Can I use Yours”
Girl : “Hey, I have lost my Surname.. Can I use Yours”
Beautiful Story of 3 Friends
11:05 AM
No comments
Beautiful Story of 3 Friends
1:- ilm
2:- Doulat
3:- itbar
Teno Dost Thay Teno Mein Piyar B Bohat Tha
Aik Dafa Aisa Waqt Aya K Teno Ko Juda Hona Para
Teno Ne Aik Dosray Sy Sawal Kea K Woh dubara kahan milain Gay?
ilm Bola:-
Main Mudarsay Masjid Aur
School main milon Ga
Dolat Boli:-
Main Mehal Aur Ameeron K Pas milon Gi
Lekin Itbar Khamosh Rha
Dono Ne Waja Pochi To
Itbar Ne Thandi Aah Bhar K Kaha
me 1 baar chala gea to wapis nahi milo ga.
Its not only a msg. Think about it.
1:- ilm
2:- Doulat
3:- itbar
Teno Dost Thay Teno Mein Piyar B Bohat Tha
Aik Dafa Aisa Waqt Aya K Teno Ko Juda Hona Para
Teno Ne Aik Dosray Sy Sawal Kea K Woh dubara kahan milain Gay?
ilm Bola:-
Main Mudarsay Masjid Aur
School main milon Ga
Dolat Boli:-
Main Mehal Aur Ameeron K Pas milon Gi
Lekin Itbar Khamosh Rha
Dono Ne Waja Pochi To
Itbar Ne Thandi Aah Bhar K Kaha
me 1 baar chala gea to wapis nahi milo ga.
Its not only a msg. Think about it.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg online, waiting to see which one comes first... will keep you posted...
12:08 AM
No comments
Just ordered a chicken and an egg online, waiting to see which one comes first... will keep you posted...
There are five types of fear...
12:05 AM
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There are five types of fear.
1. terror
2: panic
3. 14 missed calls from mom
4: username or password is incorrect
5. we need to talk
1. terror
2: panic
3. 14 missed calls from mom
4: username or password is incorrect
5. we need to talk
According to Astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a ...
12:05 AM
No comments
According to Astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years too late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Pakistan wo wahid Mulk hai . . . Jahan . . .
11:53 PM
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Pakistan wo wahid Mulk hai
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Jahan
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CASE
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Brief-CASE ki wajah sey khatam ho jata hai.
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Jahan
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CASE
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Brief-CASE ki wajah sey khatam ho jata hai.
I think that the minimum goal for everyday should be to avoid some avoidable stress.
10:49 PM
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I think that the minimum goal for everyday should be to avoid some avoidable stress. At work, at home, with friends, outside, and everywhere. If you can avoid stress by moving away quietly, you should do it.
You choose your friends. You choose your colleagues. You choose your spouse. But you don't choose your ...
10:45 PM
No comments
You choose your friends. You choose your colleagues. You choose your spouse. But you don't choose your family. If you have a wonderful family, thank Allah because believe it or not, not everybody does.
Pakistani Engr apny dost american Engnr se milne or bola:
12:49 PM
No comments
Pakistani Engr apny dost american Engnr se milne or bola:
Itna khubsurat ghr kese bnaya?
American: wo samne bridge nazr arha hy?
Pakistani: han
American: uska 10% apni jeb me.
Phr american pakistan aya to heraan reh gya k pakistani ka ghar us se b zyada khubsurt hy.
American: Tm ne kese bnaya itna khubsurt ghar?
Pakistani: wo samne bridge nazr araha hy?
American: Nai
Pakistani: .hahaha
Itna khubsurat ghr kese bnaya?
American: wo samne bridge nazr arha hy?
Pakistani: han
American: uska 10% apni jeb me.
Phr american pakistan aya to heraan reh gya k pakistani ka ghar us se b zyada khubsurt hy.
American: Tm ne kese bnaya itna khubsurt ghar?
Pakistani: wo samne bridge nazr araha hy?
American: Nai
Pakistani: .hahaha
Poling Station Main Any Wali Larki Mere Dil Main Sama Gai...
12:07 PM
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Poling Station Main Any Wali Larki Mere Dil Main Sama Gai -
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Mulk Ka Tu Pata Nahi Dost
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Mgr Apni Zindagi Main To Tabdeeli AA gai
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Mulk Ka Tu Pata Nahi Dost
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Mgr Apni Zindagi Main To Tabdeeli AA gai
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
7:48 AM
No comments
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
Teacher panni ka formula batao?
6:45 AM
No comments
Teacher panni ka formula batao?
Student:
H2MgClNaClHNO3.
Teacher: Stupid ye kia hy?
Student: Sir ye Selaab ka panni hy.
Student:
H2MgClNaClHNO3.
Teacher: Stupid ye kia hy?
Student: Sir ye Selaab ka panni hy.
LARKiY0N K Muh Se K0NSA Lafz Ziada Acha Lagta.. ?? = D
6:35 AM
No comments
LARKiY0N K Muh Se K0NSA
Lafz
Ziada Acha Lagta.. ?? = D
A- SoRry
B- Thanx
C-Kutta Kamina
D- Bandar
E- Daffar
F- I Like U
G- I Love U
H- Dfaa Ho
I- Shut Up
J- Idiot
K- Huh
L- Awwwwww ....my fev....awww
glzzz
M- Other
Comment Fast...
I don’t understand how my room gets so messy when i literally sit in one spot with my laptop all day
6:33 AM
No comments
I don’t understand how my room gets so messy when i literally sit in one spot with my laptop all day.
Ironically, people are like...
6:20 AM
No comments
Ironically, people are like songs. You find one, listen to them till you get bored and then move on. Years after, you listen to them again and smile.
Sometimes Common Sense Invades All Senses...
5:58 AM
No comments
Sometimes Common Sense Invades All Senses :
Einstein and Banta are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
Einstein says, "Let's play a game. I will ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you pay me only $ 5 and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
Einstein asks the first question: What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?
Banta doesn't say a word, reaches his pocket and pulls out a $ 5...
Now, it's Banta's turn. He asks Einstein, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on 4 legs ?"
Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends. After an hour, he gives Banta $500...
Einstein going nuts and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four ?"
Banta reaches his pocket and gives Einstein $ 5 !!
Einstein and Banta are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
Einstein says, "Let's play a game. I will ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you pay me only $ 5 and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
Einstein asks the first question: What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?
Banta doesn't say a word, reaches his pocket and pulls out a $ 5...
Now, it's Banta's turn. He asks Einstein, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on 4 legs ?"
Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends. After an hour, he gives Banta $500...
Einstein going nuts and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four ?"
Banta reaches his pocket and gives Einstein $ 5 !!
Once upon a time a lady went up to Picasso and said... ' i love...
5:40 AM
No comments
Once upon a time a lady went up to Picasso and said... ' i love your work do you mind sketching a portrait of me' as she handed him a paper and pencil . Picasso was delighted and said 'yes'. He sketched the lady a beautiful portrait and handed it to her. The lady was thankful to Picasso and turned and walked away with her portrait. Picasso stopped her and said 'excuse me, that will be a million pounds'
The lady was shocked 'what! You only spent 30 mins on it!'
Picasso said 'My lady, it took me 30 years to be able to do that in 30mins'
The moral of the story ... Value yourself, Value others!!
The lady was shocked 'what! You only spent 30 mins on it!'
Picasso said 'My lady, it took me 30 years to be able to do that in 30mins'
The moral of the story ... Value yourself, Value others!!
thay buhat bai_dard lamhey
5:36 AM
No comments
thay buhat bai_dard lamhey Khatm-e-dard-e-ishq ke
theeN buhat bai_mehar subhaiN meherbaaN raatooN ke baad
theeN buhat bai_mehar subhaiN meherbaaN raatooN ke baad
Sunday, September 15, 2013
If you are using public transport never give up your seat to
11:06 PM
No comments
If you are using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady.
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Thats how my friend lost his job as a bus driver.
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Thats how my friend lost his job as a bus driver.
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” - Dr. Seuss
11:02 PM
No comments
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” - Dr. Seuss
One of the best message on corporate life...
11:01 PM
No comments
One of the best message on corporate life:
In the past few years,
1. I learnt to operate 3 critical machines
* Scanner
* Printer
* Xerox Machine
2. I learnt to use 3 High End Software:
* Microsoft Word
* Microsoft Excel
* Microsoft PowerPoint
3. I learnt to use 3 great short cuts:-
* Ctrl+C
* Ctrl+V
* Ctrl+S
4. I learnt to say three very imp words for professional life:-
* Yes sir
* Ok sir.
* I'll Just Do That sir
5. When I really wanted to quit, I learnt to: -
* Wake Up early
* Sleep late
* Continue to Work
6. I learnt to: -
* Face Monday
* Fight For 5 Days
* Wait For Friday
7. I learnt to give reasons to family frnds and relatives for not making
* Phone Calls
* Messages
* Mails
8. I learnt to celebrate these things far away from loved ones:-
* Birthday
* New Year
* Festivals
9. In last one year, People say:-
* You Learnt...
* You Earned...
* You Enjoyed...
10. But when I compare me with my self...
* I just Sustained...
* I just Tolerated...
* I just Survived... for bucks
11. I have survived:-
* For convenience of my Family...
* To avoid blame of Society...
* To get tag of Employment...
12. When I already knew that I have got the wrong train.
* I learnt to Rejoice...
* To be Happy...
* To Smile..
I learnt that corporate life and dreams can never meet..
Because when they meet,
both will lose their meaning.....Have a great life guys ..Cheers to Life...
In the past few years,
1. I learnt to operate 3 critical machines
* Scanner
* Printer
* Xerox Machine
2. I learnt to use 3 High End Software:
* Microsoft Word
* Microsoft Excel
* Microsoft PowerPoint
3. I learnt to use 3 great short cuts:-
* Ctrl+C
* Ctrl+V
* Ctrl+S
4. I learnt to say three very imp words for professional life:-
* Yes sir
* Ok sir.
* I'll Just Do That sir
5. When I really wanted to quit, I learnt to: -
* Wake Up early
* Sleep late
* Continue to Work
6. I learnt to: -
* Face Monday
* Fight For 5 Days
* Wait For Friday
7. I learnt to give reasons to family frnds and relatives for not making
* Phone Calls
* Messages
* Mails
8. I learnt to celebrate these things far away from loved ones:-
* Birthday
* New Year
* Festivals
9. In last one year, People say:-
* You Learnt...
* You Earned...
* You Enjoyed...
10. But when I compare me with my self...
* I just Sustained...
* I just Tolerated...
* I just Survived... for bucks
11. I have survived:-
* For convenience of my Family...
* To avoid blame of Society...
* To get tag of Employment...
12. When I already knew that I have got the wrong train.
* I learnt to Rejoice...
* To be Happy...
* To Smile..
I learnt that corporate life and dreams can never meet..
Because when they meet,
both will lose their meaning.....Have a great life guys ..Cheers to Life...
Do u remember the day we travelled in a car?
10:31 PM
No comments
Do u remember the day we travelled in a car?
I put my dog out of the window
u put ur face out
then people started shouting
TWINS TWINS.
I put my dog out of the window
u put ur face out
then people started shouting
TWINS TWINS.
I know its a little early, but I just wanted to say fuck you Monday!!!! No one likes you...
10:12 PM
No comments
I know its a little early, but I just wanted to say fuck you Monday!!!! No one likes you...
Oye Kaake, Pyaar Sacha Hona Chahiye..
5:47 PM
No comments
Aaj Ka Khatarnaak Vichar...
;((
;((
"Oye Kaake, Pyaar Sacha Hona Chahiye.."
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"Andha To qanun Bhi hota Hai...
When one door closes, another one opens . That’s when...
11:13 AM
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When one door closes, another one opens.
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That’s when you realize that you've bought a really bad second hand car
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That’s when you realize that you've bought a really bad second hand car
Why Admins Have No GF/bfs?
10:07 AM
No comments
Why Admins Have No GF/bfs?
. .
. .
. . . . Because the time you were partying, we were busy in Creating page.
The time you were playing, we were busy in Promoting.
The time you were dating, we were busy in like Taking.
The time you were sleeping, we were busy in Posting.
Overall, the time you were living, we were busy in Entertain U.
Respect Admins.......
respect me..
. .
. .
. . . . Because the time you were partying, we were busy in Creating page.
The time you were playing, we were busy in Promoting.
The time you were dating, we were busy in like Taking.
The time you were sleeping, we were busy in Posting.
Overall, the time you were living, we were busy in Entertain U.
Respect Admins.......
respect me..
Relationship does not get closer by meetings , But it is...
8:37 AM
No comments
Relationship does not get closer by meetings ,
But it is Sweetened by THOUGHTS
I Care for u in My Own STRANGE Ways.
May be yoU will never KNOW, May be I will Never Show . . .
But it is Sweetened by THOUGHTS
I Care for u in My Own STRANGE Ways.
May be yoU will never KNOW, May be I will Never Show . . .
Never heard a ghost story of pathans. Probably they...
8:35 AM
No comments
Never heard a ghost story of pathans. Probably they cant understand what ghosts want to communicate. How will they scare if they won't understand. Boooo. Way khana kharab um ko sonay do.
chand ko b mil gaie chandni, taaron ka kia hoga?
8:32 AM
No comments
:Old genration:
:-| roshni chand se hoti hai sitaron se nahi..,,
muhabbat aik se hoti ha hazaron se nahi..!!!
New genration:
B-) chand ko b mil gaie chandni, taaron ka kia hoga?
muhabbat aik Hi se kar li to baki hazaron ka kia hoga?
:-| roshni chand se hoti hai sitaron se nahi..,,
muhabbat aik se hoti ha hazaron se nahi..!!!
New genration:
B-) chand ko b mil gaie chandni, taaron ka kia hoga?
muhabbat aik Hi se kar li to baki hazaron ka kia hoga?
The Funniest Fact About Smokers Is That...
5:12 AM
No comments
The Funniest Fact About Smokers Is That They All
Believe, They Can Quit Smoking Any Day They
Want..!!
Believe, They Can Quit Smoking Any Day They
Want..!!
SON : Dad there is a small get together in d school tommoro. Pls come.
5:11 AM
No comments
Height of Smartness:
SON : Dad there is a small get together in d school 2moro. Pls come.
Dad : What do u mean by SMALL.. Who all will be there??
Son : Only U, ME & PRINCIPAL...
SON : Dad there is a small get together in d school 2moro. Pls come.
Dad : What do u mean by SMALL.. Who all will be there??
Son : Only U, ME & PRINCIPAL...
Height of JOB satisfaction
4:53 AM
No comments
Height of JOB satisfaction
A boy was appointed as a Receptionist in a Girls hostel.
After 2 months the owner called the boy and said,
Why haven't you come to collect your salary? . . . . . . .
Boy: oh my god! Do I get SALARY as well ?
A boy was appointed as a Receptionist in a Girls hostel.
After 2 months the owner called the boy and said,
Why haven't you come to collect your salary? . . . . . . .
Boy: oh my god! Do I get SALARY as well ?
''YE WAQT GUZAR JAYEGA''
3:56 AM
No comments
Akbar Ne Birbal Se Kaha Kuch Aisa Likho Ki Jo Khushi Me Padho To Dukh
Ho Aur Gum Me Padho To Khushi..
:
:
:
:
:
Birbal Ne Likha:
''YE WAQT GUZAR JAYEGA''
Ho Aur Gum Me Padho To Khushi..
:
:
:
:
:
Birbal Ne Likha:
''YE WAQT GUZAR JAYEGA''
Behind every successful student ...
3:39 AM
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Behind every successful student ...
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There is a DEACTIVATED FACEBOOK account ... !!
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There is a DEACTIVATED FACEBOOK account ... !!
Dear sunday, ab aa hee gaye ho to...
3:16 AM
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Dear sunday,
ab aa hee gaye ho to...
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. to yaar 2-3 din ruk kar hi jana....
ab aa hee gaye ho to...
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. to yaar 2-3 din ruk kar hi jana....
As soon as you die, your Identity becomes a "Body".. People use phrases like "Bring the body" ...
3:14 AM
No comments
As soon as you die, your Identity becomes a "Body".. People use phrases like "Bring the
body" , "Lower the body in the grave", "Take the body to the graveyard" etc.. People don't
even call you by your Name whom you tried to impress whole your Life..
Live a Life to Impress the Creator, not the Creation.. *
body" , "Lower the body in the grave", "Take the body to the graveyard" etc.. People don't
even call you by your Name whom you tried to impress whole your Life..
Live a Life to Impress the Creator, not the Creation.. *
Just because you miss someone doesn't mean you need them back in your life. Sometimes missing is just a part of moving on.
2:18 AM
No comments
Just because you miss someone doesn't mean you need them back in your life. Sometimes missing is just a part of moving on.
If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean,If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious but If a...
2:09 AM
No comments
If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean,If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious but If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.... Lol
BOY - Janeman"TUTE DILSE"pyar krogi ya"DIL TUTNE"tak pyar krogi ?
12:01 AM
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BOY - Janeman"TUTE DILSE"pyar krogi ya"DIL TUTNE"tak pyar krogi ?
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GIRL- KAMINEY, ye bata"TUTI
CHAPPAL"se
pitega ya"CHAPPAL TUTNE
TAK"pitega? ..
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GIRL- KAMINEY, ye bata"TUTI
CHAPPAL"se
pitega ya"CHAPPAL TUTNE
TAK"pitega? ..
Saturday, September 14, 2013
ایک امریکی اور روسی بحث کررہے تھے
11:58 PM
No comments
ایک امریکی اور روسی بحث کررہے تھے
روسی : ہمارے ملک میں کھدائی ہوئی تو زیر زمین سے ٹیلفون کے تار برآمد
ہوئے اور یہ کوئی 300 سال پرانے تھے اس کا مطلب یہ ہوا کہ ٹیلیفون ہماری
ایجاد ہے.
امریکی نے بھی کچھ ایسا ہی دعویٰ کیا اور پاکستانی صاحب مسکراتے رہے.
اب پاکستانی صاحب نے کہا کہ ہمارے پاکستان میں بھی کھدائی ہوئی تھی، ادھر
سے کوئی تار وار نہیں نکلا ، روسی اور امریکی ہنس پڑے مگر پاکستانی نے بات
جاری رکھی اور مزید بات پوری کرتے ہوئے فرمایا
اس کا یہ مطلب ہوا کہ ہمارے اباؤ اجداد وائر لیس اور وائی فائی استعمال کرتے تھے۔
A taxi passenger touched d driver on shoulder to ask something, Driver screamed...
10:28 PM
No comments
A taxi passenger touched d driver on shoulder to ask something
Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath&S topped few centimeter s from a shop
The driver said:
“Don’t ever do that again, u scared me”
Passenger apologized n said:
“I didn’t realize a little touch would scare u so much”
Driver replied:
“Sorry, it’s not your fault
its my 1st day as a Cab driver.I’v e been driving a van carrying dead bodies for last 25 yrs.
Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath&S topped few centimeter s from a shop
The driver said:
“Don’t ever do that again, u scared me”
Passenger apologized n said:
“I didn’t realize a little touch would scare u so much”
Driver replied:
“Sorry, it’s not your fault
its my 1st day as a Cab driver.I’v e been driving a van carrying dead bodies for last 25 yrs.
AIk husband nay wife ko chewing gum ka pack la kar dia..
10:18 AM
No comments
AIk husband nay wife ko chewing gum ka pack la kar dia...
Wife nay poocha App nay apnay liyeh nahi li...
Husband nay baybasi say jawab dia... May to chup he rehta hoN naa...
Wife nay poocha App nay apnay liyeh nahi li...
Husband nay baybasi say jawab dia... May to chup he rehta hoN naa...
The moment when you start telling a story and....
9:13 AM
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The moment when you start telling a story and
you realize no one's listening, so you slowly fade
out and pretend like you never said anything.
you realize no one's listening, so you slowly fade
out and pretend like you never said anything.
Bf calls gf in midnight ......
6:20 AM
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Bf calls gf in midnight ......
Bf: Kya pehni ho swthrt ??
Gf: Tumko hamesha yehi baat
karni aati hai ?
.
.
Bf: Ok, then tell me ,
How India should handle
Economical and Terrorism
issues?
.
.
.
.
.
gf: ok , T-Shirt & Lower
Bf: Kya pehni ho swthrt ??
Gf: Tumko hamesha yehi baat
karni aati hai ?
.
.
Bf: Ok, then tell me ,
How India should handle
Economical and Terrorism
issues?
.
.
.
.
.
gf: ok , T-Shirt & Lower
Brain Teaser A bus driver was heading down a street in...
6:16 AM
No comments
Brain Teaser
A bus driver was heading down a street in Delhi.He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a 'no left turn' sign and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws.
Why not?
lets see who will give the correct one first
A bus driver was heading down a street in Delhi.He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a 'no left turn' sign and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws.
Why not?
lets see who will give the correct one first
You text him, he doesn't text back. He was obviously so excited that you texted him that he fainted.
6:02 AM
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You text him, he doesn't text back. He was obviously so excited that you texted him that he fainted.
I'm not fat, I'm so intelligent that my...
12:54 AM
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I'm not fat, I'm so intelligent that my head couldn't hold anymore information and started to fill up the rest of me. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Friday, September 13, 2013
That moment when you feel like giving up, when it doesn't seem worth it?...That is where change happens, don't stop. Keep going. You will not regret it.
2:21 PM
No comments
That moment when you feel like giving up, when it doesn't seem worth it?...That is where
change happens, don't stop. Keep going. You will not regret it.
change happens, don't stop. Keep going. You will not regret it.
Some people are so important in our life, Not because we enjoy their company, but because we feel so lonely in their absence..
1:55 PM
No comments
Some people are so important in our life, Not because we enjoy their company, but because we feel so lonely in their absence..
That terrifying moment when you rub your eyes for too long and you go blind for like 10 seconds..
6:13 AM
No comments
That terrifying moment when you rub your eyes for too long and you go blind for like 10 seconds..
Wife angry as Husband stands too close 2 a beautiful girl in a bus! Suddenly....
4:15 AM
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Wife angry as Husband stands too close 2 a beautiful girl in a bus!
Suddenly the Girl slaps Husband for pinching
Husband : i swear i didn't do it.
Wife: i know dear, i did it
Suddenly the Girl slaps Husband for pinching
Husband : i swear i didn't do it.
Wife: i know dear, i did it
Cheating isn't always kissing, touching, or flirting. If you...
3:28 AM
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Cheating isn't always kissing, touching, or flirting. If you gotta delete text messages so your partner won't seem em, you're already there.
I really miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like bitch whatever.
3:23 AM
No comments
I really miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like bitch whatever.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
If you tell me the truth, I'm gonna be mad but I'll get over it. If you lie...
11:54 PM
No comments
If you tell me the truth, I'm gonna be mad but I'll get over it. If you lie to me I'm never gonna be able to trust you again. your choice
A lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her cell phone after...
11:49 PM
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A lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her cell
phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her
cell phone, credit card, wallet, etc.,
was stolen. 20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone
telling him what had happened, hubby says 'I received your text asking
about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.' When they
rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was
already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to
text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within
20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their bank account.
Moral lesson:
a. Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc.
b. And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.
c. Also, when you're being texted by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON
Even if this doesn't pertain to you....Pass it on to your family and friends. It may be useful.
Moral lesson:
a. Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc.
b. And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.
c. Also, when you're being texted by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON
Even if this doesn't pertain to you....Pass it on to your family and friends. It may be useful.
Salary and how much you work!
10:04 PM
No comments
All salary wale ppl must read this:----- After 2 years of selfless service, I realized that I had not been promoted, no salary increment,
no commendation.
So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me, smiled and asked me
to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked here for even a single day." I was shocked to hear this !!!, but the manager went on to explain, and here's the
conversation that took place. Manager: How many days are there in a year? Me: 365 days and sometimes 366. Manager: How many hours make up a day? Me: 24 Hours. Manager: How long do u work in a day? Me: 10am to 6pm
(i.e 8 hours a day.) Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours? Me: 8/24
i.e 1/3 (one third). Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days? Me: 122
(1/3 x 366=122 days) Manager: Do u come to work on weekends? Me: No sir. Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends? Me: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days. Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days
do u now have? Me: 18 days. Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18
days left. How many days do u have remaining? Me: 4 days. Manager: Do u work on Republic Day? Me: No sir! Manager: Do u come to work on Independance Day? Me: No sir! Manager: So how many days r left? Me: 2 days Sir! Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day? Me: No sir! Manager: So how many days r left? Me: 1 day sir! Manager: Do u work on Diwali ? Me: No Sir! Manager: So how many days are left? Me: None Sir! Manager: So what r u claiming? Me: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing company
money all these days. Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
(HR-HIGH RISK.)
.
.
. So, How many days do you work ?
no commendation.
So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me, smiled and asked me
to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked here for even a single day." I was shocked to hear this !!!, but the manager went on to explain, and here's the
conversation that took place. Manager: How many days are there in a year? Me: 365 days and sometimes 366. Manager: How many hours make up a day? Me: 24 Hours. Manager: How long do u work in a day? Me: 10am to 6pm
(i.e 8 hours a day.) Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours? Me: 8/24
i.e 1/3 (one third). Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days? Me: 122
(1/3 x 366=122 days) Manager: Do u come to work on weekends? Me: No sir. Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends? Me: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days. Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days
do u now have? Me: 18 days. Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18
days left. How many days do u have remaining? Me: 4 days. Manager: Do u work on Republic Day? Me: No sir! Manager: Do u come to work on Independance Day? Me: No sir! Manager: So how many days r left? Me: 2 days Sir! Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day? Me: No sir! Manager: So how many days r left? Me: 1 day sir! Manager: Do u work on Diwali ? Me: No Sir! Manager: So how many days are left? Me: None Sir! Manager: So what r u claiming? Me: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing company
money all these days. Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
(HR-HIGH RISK.)
.
.
. So, How many days do you work ?
