American: Do you guys call your wives 'Honey' in your native language?
Indian: no, we call them 'bee-bee' - they sting twice as hard as the honey bee!
😝🐝😝
Do you live in the Clouds too? Be Popular
We bring you Best of SMS and Text Messages for your regular Status updates.
Share the Fun with your Friends
Thounds of Funny, Jokes, Poetries and Quotes for you to just Copy and Paste to your Social Profile.
Got a Facebook Page? We Banner you Free...
On Exchangeship we promot your Social Network Profile/Page for Free by placing a Button Banner on our Website
You can Share Text Messages Here too
We do more than sharing, post a good Text Message with your Name or url of your Social Profile.
Enjoyr Your popularity on Social Network
Android App is coming next with everyone in ONE Place, save time save disk space and increase your fun and popularity.
Monday, August 8, 2016
Do you guys call your wives 'Honey' in your native language?
7:12 PM
1 comment
Sunday, August 7, 2016
پیسے کو گھماؤ ! نہ کہ اس پر سانپ بن کر بیٹھ جاؤ
1:40 PM
No comments
ایک قصبے کے ہوٹل میں ایک سیاح داخل ہوا اور مالک سے اسکے ہوٹل کا بہترین کمرہ دکھانے کو کہا. مالک نے اسے بہترین کمرہ کی چابی اور کمرہ دیکھنے کی اجازت دے دی. سیاح نے کاؤنٹر پر ایک سو ڈالر کا نوٹ بطور ایڈوانس رکھا اور کمرہ دیکھنے چلا گیا.
اسی وقت قصبے کا قصاب ہوٹل کے مالک سے گوشت کی رقم لینے آیا. ہوٹل کے مالک نے وہی سو ڈالر کا نوٹ اٹھا کر قصاب کو دے دیا کیونکہ اسے یقین تھا کہ سیاح کو کمرہ پسند آجائے گا.
قصاب نے وہ سو ڈالر کا نوٹ فورا اپنے جانور سپلائی کرنے والے کو دے دیا. جانور سپلائی والا ایک ڈاکٹر کا مقروض تھا جس سے وہ علاج کروا رہا تھا اس نے وہ نوٹ ڈاکٹر کو دے دیا. ڈاکٹر کافی دنوں سے اسی ہوٹل کے ایک کمرے میں مقیم تھا اس لئے اس نے وہی سو ڈالر کا نوٹ ہوٹل کے مالک کو ادا کردیا.
وہ سو ڈالر کا نوٹ کاؤنٹر پر ہی پڑا تھا کہ کمرہ پسند کرنے کے لئے سیڑھیاں چڑھ کر کیا ہوا متوقع گاہک واپس آگیا اور ہوٹل کے مالک کو بتایا کہ مجھے کمرہ پسند نہیں آیا. یہ کہہ کر اس نے اپنا سو ڈالر کا نوٹ اٹھایا اور چلا گیا !!!
اکنامک کی اس کہانی میں نہ کسی نے کچھ کمایا اور نہ کسی نے کچھ خرچ کیا. لیکن جس قصبے میں سیاح نوٹ لے کر آیا تھا اس قصبے کے کتنے ہی لوگ قرض سے فارغ ہوگئے.
حاصل مطالعہ ....
پیسے کو گھماؤ ! نہ کہ اس پر سانپ بن کر بیٹھ جاؤ کہ اسی میں عوام الناس کی فلاح ہے
Saturday, July 2, 2016
*GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE* !
2:52 AM
No comments
Received a hilarious one for our generation.!!😍😜
*GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE* !
📠
Good Morning !
At present, we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep.🔅
Beeeeeppp...
● If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "birth arrival" so we know who it is.
● If you need us to stay with the children, press 2.
● If you want to borrow the car, press 3.
● If you want us to wash your clothes and do iron, press 4.
● If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5.
● If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6.
● If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7.
● If you want to come to eat here, press 8.
● If you need money, press 9.
● If you are going to invite us to dinner or take us to the theatre, start talking...we are listening !
*I love it every time I read this* !
😊😊😊
A Double Bedroom, please.
2:49 AM
No comments
Man checks in a hotel...
A Double Bedroom, please.
Hotel Manager: But, Sir you are alone..!
Man: Yes, but I am a Married Man and I wish to "ENJOY SILENCE" from the other side of the BED. 😂😂😂
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
A good relationship always need just 2 things ...
9:35 PM
No comments
A good relationship always need just 2
things ...
A "little time" spent with them...
Or ..
A "true care" shown always ...
Thursday, June 23, 2016
How can you expect me to remember your birthday when u never...
4:15 AM
No comments
Wife (angrily) 😡: I don't believe this..
You forgot my birthday again??
How can you do this..
Husband: How can you expect me to remember your birthday when u never look older..!
Wife (clears her throat & smiles)☺☺ : Jaanu, Sacchi..
😛Husband in his mind- "saala sahi time pe dialogue aa gaya..warna khatam tha aaj 😜😜 !!".
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Please pray for my neighbour's wife...
8:38 AM
No comments
Please pray for my neighbour's wife ... We are on our way to the hospital now. She swallowed a Memory Card (32GB) and she is singing all the songs on it. We don't know what will happen when she gets to the videos folder 😀😜😜😜
Saturday, June 18, 2016
I and lizard have huge respect for both
12:56 PM
No comments
I and lizard have huge respect for both of them. When I enter in the room she disappears and, when she enters in the room, I go out wo bhi foran se :D :D :D
ایک سائنسدان نے شادی کر لی..
4:02 AM
No comments
شادی کیا ہوتی ہے ؟
یہ سمجھنے کے لیے ایک سائنسدان نے شادی کر لی....
اب اس کو سمجھ نہی آرہا کہ سائنس کیا ہوتی ہے.....
Friday, June 17, 2016
Opportunity follows struggle. It follows effort...
4:31 AM
No comments
Opportunity follows struggle. It follows effort. It follows hard work. It doesn't come before.
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Police : Why didn't you report your stolen Credit Card ?
4:02 AM
No comments
Police : Why didn't you report your stolen Credit Card ?
Santa : The thief is spending less than my Wife...
😂 😂 😜
Young Engineer and Boss
4:02 AM
No comments
A young Engineer was leaving the office at 5:45pm, when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in the hand.
"Listen this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you made this thing work? asked the CEO
"certainly," said the Engineer. He turned on the machine, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, Excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Lesson: NEVER, Never, Never, ever assume that your Boss Knows what he's doing😨😬😀
Monday, June 13, 2016
?+?+?+?80+90=100
10:44 PM
No comments
Who can solve this quiz ?
?+?+?+?80+90=100
.
.
.
.
.
.
Answer:
Akar Bakar Bumbay Bo, 80 + 90 puray 100 !
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Height of getting lucky
5:24 AM
No comments
Height of getting lucky
My neighbor's wife texted me,
"I am new on whatsapp... Any idea what does IDK, LY, TTYL mean...?"
I replied : "I don't know, Love You, Talk To You Later !"
She replied : "No problem. I'll ask you later... Love you too..."
😜😅😂
Friday, June 10, 2016
Gujarati Funeral ..... Excellent one...
4:56 AM
No comments
Gujarati Funeral ..... Excellent one...
A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US . It was sent by one of the daughters.
The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid;
they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:
Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Neetaben and Varsha,
I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that
she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT.
Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.
You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.
On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.
Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.Just distribute the rest among yourselves.
The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.
The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace,earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her..
The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews.Please distribute all these fairly.
Love Neeta.
PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well nowadays... 😳😳😳😏😜......
Thursday, June 9, 2016
One day the people that didn't believe in you, will tell
3:06 PM
No comments
The Ultimate Inspiration & Motivation:
"One day, the people that didn't believe in you, will tell everyone how they met you"
جب آپ مشکلات میں ہوتے ہیں تو آپ اکثر
5:42 AM
No comments
جب آپ مشکلات میں ہوتے ہیں تو آپ اکثر سوچتے ہیں کہ اللہ کہاں ہے؟
یاد رکھیئے، امتحان کے دوران استاد ہمیشہ خاموش ہوتا ہے..
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Waqt ki dosti tou har koe karta hai, maza tou tab hai jab...
5:45 AM
No comments
Waqt ki dosti tou har koe karta hai, maza tou tab hai jab waqt badal jaye par dost na badle ;)
Some fresh husband wife naughty bytes
4:09 AM
No comments
Some fresh husband wife naughty bytes
👊👊👊👊👊😂
Wife: I hate you.
Husband: What a co-incidence.
😂😂😂😂😆😆😆😆
A smart wife's note for the husband :
I am going out with my friends for dinner. Your dinner is in the recipe book, on page 25 and ingredients are available at reliance Fresh.
😂😂😂😂😂😆😆😆😆
Wife: "Darling Let's Enjoy our Saturday and Sunday"!
Husband: "Good Idea!, Let's meet on Monday....!"
😂😂😆😆😆😆😜
Boss to his friend: Kya zamana aaya hai. My secretary resigned yesterday.
Friend: Why?
Boss: She caught me with my wife in cofee shop
😜😝😛😛😝😜😝😝
Monday, June 6, 2016
Zindagi main kamyabi Kay leeyaa Kia Karon ?
8:30 AM
No comments
Aaj main nay ammi say poocha
Zindagi main kamyabi Kay leeyaa Kia Karon ?
Ammi baray piar say boleen
Sab say pahlay pather lay & Apna mobile tour day 😅
جو غلطی کر نہیں سکتا وہ فرشتہ ہے جو غلطی کر کے اُس پر
7:43 AM
No comments
جو غلطی کر نہیں سکتا وہ فرشتہ ہے جو غلطی کر کے اُس پر ڈٹ جائے وہ شیطان ہے اور جو غلطی کر کے فورا توبہ کر لے وہ انسان ہے.
A new restaurant, named... "Topless Beauty"
3:38 AM
No comments
Advertisement of a new restaurant, named....
"Topless Beauty"
1000 men visited on the very first day....
They were shocked to see that the restaurant had no roof...!!!
Men will be Men
Marketing is all about presentation..
میں نے اسے انگلش میں #ILoveYou کہا تواسکا جواب اردو میں
1:46 AM
No comments
جب میں نے اسے انگلش میں #ILoveYou کہا تواسکا جواب اردو میں تھا
اور جواب تھا
بھاڑ میں جا '
تب اندازہ ہوا اس قوم کو تعلیم کی کتنی ضرورت ھے
اسی لیےکہتا ھوں خواتین کی تعلیم ضروری ھے
1:45 AM
No comments
اس قدر تعلیم کی کمی ھے
میں نے کہا اپنا وٹس ایپ نمبر بتائیں
آگے سے بولی
جوتے کا نمبر بتاؤں ؟؟
اسی لیےکہتا ھوں خواتین کی تعلیم ضروری ھے
جہاں جان کہنا ہوتا ہے وہاں ایک لفظ
1:44 AM
No comments
خواتین کو تعلیم کی ضرورت ہے یہ اکثراردوغلط بول جاتی ہیں
جہاں جان کہنا ہوتا ہے وہاں ایک لفظ بھائی کا اضافہ کر کے" بھائی جان "کر لیتی ہیں
😏😶
Saturday, June 4, 2016
Take this gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.
7:49 PM
No comments
A Priest dies & is waiting in line at heavens gate.
Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.
God to the guy : Who r u ?
Guy : I am Karachi-Hyderabad Express Bus driver.
God : Take this gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.
God to the Priest : Who r u ?
Priest : I am a priest & spent 40yrs preaching good to people.
God : Take this cotton robe and enter heaven.
Priest : God, how come that foul mouthed, rash driver gets a gold & I spent all my life preaching good get cotton.
God : Results, my son, results.
While you preached, people slept, when he drove, people really prayed...
☝“Its Performance, not Position that Counts !!”
Friday, June 3, 2016
آپ کے رومال سے جو کپڑا بچے گا
6:33 AM
No comments
اف یہ بیویاں
بیوی شاپنگ کر کے گھر آئی اور شوہر سے بولی:"دیکھئے! میں آپ کے لیے کتنا اچھا رومال لائی ہوں"َ۔
شوہر نے حیرت سے کپڑے کو دیکھا اور بولا:"اتنا بڑا رومال یہ تو کوئی چھ گز کا ہو گا"۔
بیوی بولی:"آپ کے رومال سے جو کپڑا بچے گا اس کا میں سوٹ سلوا لوں گی"۔
Thursday, June 2, 2016
Nadeem was worried that his wife was having hearing problem
10:49 AM
No comments
***Superb Story***
Nadeem was worried that his wife was having hearing problem and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
"Here's what you do,"said the Doctor, "Go home, stand about 40 feet away from her, and make a normal conversational and see if she can hear you.
If not, go closer to about 30 feet,
then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
That evening,
his wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner, Nadeem thought of performing the test.
He says to himself,
"I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.?"
Then in a normal tone he asks,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
No response.
So he moves closer to the kitchen,
about 30 feet from his wife and repeats,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
Still No response...
Next he moves to the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again he gets No response...
So, he walks up to the kitchen door,
about 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again there is No response....
So he walks right up behind her,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
(You'll Love this)
"For God's sake Nadeem,
its the FIFTH time I am telling you,
its 'AALOO PARATHA'.!"
😳
بعض لوگ اچھا بننے کے لئے اتنی کوشش نہیں کرتے جتنی
6:27 AM
No comments
بعض لوگ اچھا بننے کے لئے اتنی کوشش نہیں کرتے جتنی کہ اچھا نظر آنے کے لیے کرتے ہیں۔
Baz log acha banay Kay leeyaa itni koshish nahi kertay jitni kay acha nazer aanay Kay leeyaa kertay hain.
Unknown
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
اچھی نیت والوں کو سکون ڈھونڈھنا نہیں پڑتا
4:16 AM
No comments
اچھی نیت والوں کو سکون ڈھونڈھنا نہیں پڑتا
ان کے دل کسی اجلی صبح کی طرح اجلے اور پرسکون ہوتے ہیں ،
Thursday, May 19, 2016
اچھے انسان کی سب سے پہلی اور آخری نشانی
11:32 PM
No comments
اچھے انسان کی سب سے پہلی اور آخری نشانی یہ ہے کہ
وہ ان لوگوں کی بھی عزت کرتا ہے
جن سے اسے کسی قسم کے فائدے یا مفاد کی توقع نہیں ہوتی ،
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
l am worried about is my height and not my...
10:19 PM
No comments
😄😄😄
Lady to her dietician :- What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.
Doc :- How come???
Lady :- According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet... 😜
Now this is called positive attitude.. 👍👍😉
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
A Nice Catch
2:45 AM
No comments
A Nice Catch
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub. A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A tipsy- ooking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing. 'Fishing,' the old man said simply.
'Poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub. As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, 'And how many have you caught?'
'You're the eighth,' the old man answered.
Monday, May 16, 2016
Yeh kaunsa pack de diya Bhai!
12:42 AM
No comments
_Man buys a pack of cigarette_
_Warning reads_
*smoking causes impotency*
_Goes back to store,_
_says:_
Yeh kaunsa pack de diya Bhai! Woh cancer wala doh
Men will be Men.
😂😂😂
Saturday, May 14, 2016
Height of...
4:28 AM
No comments
Height of Fashion 👳
Lungi with a zip.
Height of Laziness 😪
Asking lift for morning walk.
Height of Craziness 😉
Get blank paper xerox.
Height of Honesty 😌
Pregnant woman taking 2 tickets.
Height of de-hydration 😔
Cow giving milk powder.
Height of Hope 😒
A 99 yr. Old woman going for 295/-recharge to get lifetime incoming.
Height of Stupidity 😵
Looking through key hole of a glass door.
Height of Suicide Attempt 😲
A dwarf jumps from the footpath on the road.
Height of friendship 😜
It’s when your friend runs away with your wife ….
And you are really worried for your friend !!
Height of Attitude 😏
A Sleeping Beggar puts a Notice Board in front of Him..
Please Do not make noise by dropping coins!!
Use Currency notes.
Height Of Work Pressure 😤
An Employee Opens His Tiffin Box On The Road Side To See, Whether He Is Going To office, Or Coming Back From office.
Friday, May 13, 2016
ﺗﻤﮭﺎﺭﯼ ﺑﮯ ﺳﮑﻮﻧﯽ ﺧﺘﻢ ﮨﻮ ﺟﺎﺋﮯ ﮔﯽ
8:13 PM
No comments
ﺟﺲ ﺩﻥ ﺗﻤﮭﯿﮟ ﯾﮧ ﻣﻌﻠﻮﻡ ﮨﻮﺟﺎﺋﮯ ﮔﺎ ﮐﮧ ﺟﻮ ﮐﺎﻡ ﺗﻤﮭﺎﺭﯼ ﻣﺮﺿﯽ ﺳﮯ ﻧﮩﯿﮟ ﮨﻮﺗﮯ ،
ﻭﮦ ﺗﻤﮭﺎﺭﮮ ﻟﯿﮯ ﮐﺘﻨﮯ ﺑﮩﺘﺮ ﮨﻮﺗﮯ ﮨﯿﮟ ﺍﺱ ﺩﻥ ﺗﻤﮭﺎﺭﯼ ﺑﮯ ﺳﮑﻮﻧﯽ ﺧﺘﻢ ﮨﻮ ﺟﺎﺋﮯ ﮔﯽ .
What do you do with a mistake - recognize it...
4:11 AM
No comments
"What do you do with a mistake: recognize it, admit it, learn from it, forget it." - Dean Smith
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Why send one big text when you can send...
11:16 AM
No comments
Why send one big text when you can send 15 little ones in a row and be even more annoying.
مشورہ لے کر دیکھو
10:52 AM
No comments
مشورہ لے کر دیکھو
کسی کا صبر دیکھنا ہو تو اس پر تنقید کرکے دیکھو
کسی کا ظرف دیکھنا ہو تو اسے عزت دے کر دیکھو
کسی کا خلوص دیکھنا ہو تو اس سے مشورہ لے کر دیکھو
کسی کی خصلت دیکھنی ہو تو اس کے ساتھ سفر کرکے دیکھو
کسی کی فطرت دیکھنی ہو تو اسے آزادی و اختیار دے کر دیکھو
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
آج کے دور میں وہ واحد شخص ہے جو پہلے...
7:46 PM
No comments
پان والے کی عزت کیجیے، کیوں کہ آج کے دور میں وہ واحد شخص ہے جو پہلے پوچھتا ہے
چونا لگادوں صاحب۔۔؟
نیند کی گولیاں وه کهاتی هے،،،،، اور سکون ...
7:44 PM
No comments
ابن انشا فرماتے هیں که مجھ میں اور میری بیوی میں بڑا عجیب سا اتفاق هے _______ نیند کی گولیاں وه کهاتی هے،،،،، اور
سکون مجهے ملتا هے. :D
اور سب سے مشکل کام
4:53 AM
No comments
دنیا کا سب سے آسان کام دوسروں کو نصیحت کرنا ہے
اور سب سے مشکل کام کسی دوسرے کی نصیحت پہ عمل کرنا ہے
Monday, May 9, 2016
Feelings are much like waves, we can't...
6:13 AM
No comments
Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but, we can choose which ones to surf.
Sunday, May 8, 2016
Pakeeza aur Jazib-e-nazar Chehrey
12:56 PM
No comments
Baaz logun ki soch ki khubsurti in ke aam se chehre ko pakeeza or jazib-nazar bana deti hai.
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Sometimes you can't explain what you see in a...
8:39 PM
No comments
"Sometimes you can't explain what you see in a person. It's just the way they take you to a place, no one else can".
Akbar asked Birbal to look for five biggest idiots in his state and...
10:39 AM
No comments
In search of Five Idiots:
Akbar asked Birbal to look for five biggest idiots in his state and produce them in his court within a month.
After a month's extensive search operations, Birbal brought to the court only two persons.
"But I asked for five", Akbar angrily asked.
"Give me a chance to present them one by one", Birbal pleaded and went on to present his idiots:
"Maharaj, this man, while travelling in a bullock cart, was keeping his luggage on his head so as not to hurt the bullocks. He is the first idiot.
Pointing to the second man Birbal continued, "And this man here is the second idiot. Some grass grew on the roof of his thatched house and he was trying to force his cow climb up a ladder to graze on them."
Birbal continued, "Maharaj, there were a lot of importants jobs for me to do in the state, but I ignored them and wasted a precious month in searching for idiots. According to me I am the third idiot."
Birbal paused here for a moment.
"Who are the fourth and fifth idiots?", Akbar thundered.
"Beg your pardon, Maharaj", Birbal continued, "You are the king and are responsible for the wellbeing of the entire state and its people. You need wise persons to help you oversee the state affairs. Instead of looking for wise people you engaged me to look for idiots. According to me you are the fourth idiot.
And, Maharaj, the person who is glued to this Whatsapp, keeping aside all his high priority assignments, oblivious of pressing needs of his familiy, just to learn who is the fifth idiot, is the fifth idiot himself. You will not find a better idiot to beat this one. What do you say, Maharaj?", Birbal concluded.
Akbar said, "This is a latest one. Post it immediately in all groups. Lots of idiots are eagerly waiting"..
A genie appeared in the dream of a woman...
9:34 AM
No comments
A genie appeared in the dream of a woman.
"Whatever you want, just ask " it said.
"My husband’s eyes should be only on me during all waking hours."
"And then ..?"
"He should not be concerned with anything else in life except me."
"And then?"
"He should never sleep without me by his side."
"And then ..?"
"When he wakes up in the morning he should only see my face first."
"And then ..?"
"He should not go anywhere without me."
"And then ..?"
"If there is even a single scratch on me, he should go crazy with grief."
"And then ..?"
"That's it."
And, bingo, the genie turned the woman into a IPhone 6s Plus!
Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is...
5:57 AM
No comments
Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.
