Do you guys call your wives 'Honey' in your native language?

American: Do you guys call your wives 'Honey' in your native language?

Indian: no, we call them 'bee-bee' - they sting twice as hard as the honey bee!
😝🐝😝

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*GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE* !

Received a hilarious one for our generation.!!😍😜

*GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE* !

📠
Good Morning !

At present, we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep.🔅

Beeeeeppp...

● If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "birth arrival" so we know who it is.

● If you need us to stay with the children, press 2.

● If you want to borrow the car, press 3.

● If you want us to wash your clothes and do iron, press 4.

● If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5.

● If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6.

● If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7.

● If you want to come to eat here, press 8.

● If you need money, press 9.

● If you are going to invite us to dinner or take us to the theatre, start talking...we are listening !

*I love it every time I read this* !
😊😊😊

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A Double Bedroom, please.

Man checks in a hotel...
A Double Bedroom, please.
Hotel Manager: But, Sir you are alone..!
Man: Yes, but I am a Married Man and I wish to "ENJOY SILENCE" from the other side of the BED. 😂😂😂

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A good relationship always need just 2 things ...

A good relationship always need just 2
things ...
A "little time" spent with them...
Or ..
A "true care" shown always ...

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Please pray for my neighbour's wife...

Please pray for my neighbour's wife ... We are on our way to the hospital now. She swallowed a Memory Card (32GB) and she is singing all the songs on it. We don't know what will happen when she gets to the videos folder 😀😜😜😜

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I and lizard have huge respect for both

I and lizard have huge respect for both of them. When I enter in the room she disappears and, when she enters in the room, I go out wo bhi foran se :D :D :D

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Opportunity follows struggle. It follows effort...

Opportunity follows struggle. It follows effort. It follows hard work. It doesn't come before.

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Police : Why didn't you report your stolen Credit Card ?

Police : Why didn't you report your stolen Credit Card ?

Santa : The thief is spending less than my Wife...
😂 😂 😜

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Young Engineer and Boss

A young Engineer was leaving the office at 5:45pm, when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in the hand.
"Listen this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you made this thing work? asked the CEO
"certainly," said the Engineer. He turned on the machine, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, Excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.  "I just need one copy."

Lesson:  NEVER, Never, Never, ever assume that your Boss Knows what he's doing😨😬😀

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?+?+?+?80+90=100

Who can solve this quiz ?

?+?+?+?80+90=100 
.
.
.
.
.
.
Answer:

Akar Bakar Bumbay Bo, 80 + 90 puray 100 !
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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Height of getting lucky

Height of getting lucky

My neighbor's wife texted me,
"I am new on whatsapp... Any idea what does IDK, LY, TTYL mean...?"

I replied : "I don't know, Love You, Talk To You Later !"

She replied : "No problem. I'll ask you later... Love you too..."
😜😅😂

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Gujarati Funeral ..... Excellent one...

Gujarati Funeral ..... Excellent one...

A family in  Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from  the US . It was sent by one of the daughters.

The dead body  was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid;

they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:

Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Neetaben and Varsha, 
I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that

she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT.

Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, cans  of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam  (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.

On Ba's feet you  will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.Just distribute the rest among yourselves.  

The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the  boys.

The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist.  Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace,earrings and ring that you asked  for. Please take them off her..

The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews.Please distribute  all these fairly.

Love Neeta.

PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well nowadays...       😳😳😳😏😜......

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One day the people that didn't believe in you, will tell

The Ultimate Inspiration & Motivation:

"One day, the people that didn't believe in you, will tell everyone how they met you"

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Some fresh husband wife naughty bytes

Some fresh husband wife naughty bytes
👊👊👊👊👊😂

Wife: I hate you.
Husband: What a                                  co-incidence.

😂😂😂😂😆😆😆😆

A smart wife's note for the husband :
I am going out with my friends for dinner. Your dinner is in the recipe book, on page 25 and ingredients are available at reliance Fresh.

😂😂😂😂😂😆😆😆😆

Wife: "Darling Let's Enjoy our Saturday and Sunday"!
Husband: "Good Idea!, Let's meet on Monday....!"

😂😂😆😆😆😆😜

Boss to his friend: Kya zamana aaya hai. My secretary resigned yesterday.
Friend: Why?
Boss: She caught me with my wife in cofee shop

😜😝😛😛😝😜😝😝

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A new restaurant, named... "Topless Beauty"

Advertisement of a new restaurant, named....

"Topless Beauty"

1000 men visited on the very first day....

They were shocked to see that the restaurant had no roof...!!!

Men will be Men
Marketing is all about presentation..

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Take this gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.

A Priest dies & is waiting in line at heavens gate.
Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.
God to the guy : Who r u ?
Guy : I am Karachi-Hyderabad Express Bus driver.
God : Take this gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.
God to the Priest : Who r u ?
Priest : I am a priest & spent 40yrs preaching good to people.
God : Take this cotton robe and enter heaven.
Priest : God, how come that foul mouthed, rash driver gets a gold & I spent all my life preaching good get cotton.
God : Results, my son, results.
While you preached, people slept, when he drove, people really prayed...
☝“Its Performance, not Position that Counts !!”

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Nadeem was worried that his wife was having hearing problem

***Superb Story***

Nadeem was worried that his wife was having hearing problem and he thought she might need a  hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

"Here's what you do,"said the Doctor, "Go home, stand about 40 feet away from her, and make a normal conversational and see if she can hear you.
If not, go closer to about 30 feet,
then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening,
his wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner, Nadeem  thought of performing the test.
He says to himself,
"I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.?"

Then in a normal tone he asks,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So he moves closer to the kitchen,
about 30 feet from his wife and repeats,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still No response...

Next he moves to the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets No response...

So, he walks up to the kitchen door,
about 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is No response....

So he walks right up behind her,
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

(You'll Love this)

"For God's sake Nadeem,
its  the FIFTH time I am telling you,
its 'AALOO PARATHA'.!"
😳

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l am worried about is my height and not my...

😄😄😄
Lady to her dietician :- What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.

Doc :- How come???

Lady :- According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet... 😜

Now this is called positive attitude.. 👍👍😉

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A Nice Catch

A Nice Catch

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub. A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.

A tipsy- ooking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing. 'Fishing,' the old man said simply.
'Poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub. As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, 'And how many have you caught?'

'You're the eighth,' the old man answered.

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Height of...

Height of Fashion 👳
Lungi with a zip.

Height of Laziness 😪
Asking lift for morning walk.

Height of Craziness 😉
Get blank paper xerox.

Height of Honesty 😌
Pregnant woman taking 2 tickets.

Height of de-hydration 😔
Cow giving milk powder.

Height of Hope 😒
A 99 yr. Old woman going for 295/-recharge to get lifetime incoming.

Height of Stupidity 😵
Looking through key hole of a glass door.

Height of Suicide Attempt 😲
A dwarf jumps from the footpath on the road.

Height of friendship 😜
It’s when your friend runs away with your wife ….
And you are really worried for your friend !!

Height of Attitude 😏
A Sleeping Beggar puts a Notice Board in front of Him..
Please Do not make noise by dropping coins!!
Use Currency notes.

Height Of Work Pressure 😤
An Employee Opens His Tiffin Box On The Road Side To See, Whether He Is Going To office, Or Coming Back From office.

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