2016 ~ Best of SMS & Text Messages for CopyPaste Fun

Monday, August 8, 2016

Do you guys call your wives 'Honey' in your native language?

7:12 PM 1 comment

American: Do you guys call your wives 'Honey' in your native language? Indian: no, we call them 'bee-bee' - they sting twice as hard as the honey bee! 😝🐝...

پیسے کو گھماؤ ! نہ کہ اس پر سانپ بن کر بیٹھ جاؤ

1:40 PM No comments

ایک قصبے کے ہوٹل میں ایک سیاح داخل ہوا اور مالک سے اسکے ہوٹل کا بہترین کمرہ دکھانے کو کہا. مالک نے اسے بہترین کمرہ کی چابی اور کمرہ دیکھنے کی اجازت دے دی. سیاح نے کاؤنٹر پر ایک سو ڈالر کا نوٹ بطور ایڈوانس رکھا اور کمرہ دیکھنے چلا گیا. اسی وقت قصبے کا قصاب ہوٹل کے مالک سے گوشت کی رقم لینے آیا. ہوٹل کے مالک نے وہی سو ڈالر کا نوٹ اٹھا کر قصاب کو دے دیا کیونکہ اسے یقین تھا کہ سیاح کو کمرہ پسند آجائے گا. قصاب نے وہ سو ڈالر کا نوٹ فورا اپنے جانور سپلائی کرنے والے کو دے دیا. جانور سپلائی والا ایک ڈاکٹر کا مقروض تھا جس سے وہ علاج کروا رہا تھا اس نے وہ...

GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE !

2:52 AM No comments

Received a hilarious one for our generation.!!😍😜 *GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE* ! 📠 Good Morning ! At present, we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep.🔅 Beeeeeppp... ● If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "birth arrival" so we know who it is. ● If you need us to stay with the children, press 2. ● If you want to borrow the car, press 3. ● If you want us to wash your clothes and do iron, press 4. ● If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press...

A Double Bedroom, please.

2:49 AM No comments

Man checks in a hotel... A Double Bedroom, please. Hotel Manager: But, Sir you are alone..! Man: Yes, but I am a Married Man and I wish to "ENJOY SILENCE" from the other side of the BED. 😂😂...

A good relationship always need just 2 things ...

9:35 PM No comments

A good relationship always need just 2 things ... A "little time" spent with them... Or .. A "true care" shown always ....

How can you expect me to remember your birthday when u never...

4:15 AM No comments

Wife (angrily) 😡: I don't believe this.. You forgot my birthday again?? How can you do this.. Husband: How can you expect me to remember your birthday when u never look older..! Wife (clears her throat & smiles)☺☺ : Jaanu, Sacchi.. 😛Husband in his mind- "saala sahi time pe dialogue aa gaya..warna khatam tha aaj 😜😜 !!...

Please pray for my neighbour's wife...

8:38 AM No comments

Please pray for my neighbour's wife ... We are on our way to the hospital now. She swallowed a Memory Card (32GB) and she is singing all the songs on it. We don't know what will happen when she gets to the videos folder 😀😜😜...

I and lizard have huge respect for both

12:56 PM No comments

I and lizard have huge respect for both of them. When I enter in the room she disappears and, when she enters in the room, I go out wo bhi foran se :D :D ...

ایک سائنسدان نے شادی کر لی..

4:02 AM No comments

شادی کیا ہوتی ہے ؟ یہ سمجھنے کے لیے ایک سائنسدان نے شادی کر لی.... اب اس کو سمجھ نہی آرہا کہ سائنس کیا ہوتی ہے......

Opportunity follows struggle. It follows effort...

4:31 AM No comments

Opportunity follows struggle. It follows effort. It follows hard work. It doesn't come befor...

Police : Why didn't you report your stolen Credit Card ?

4:02 AM No comments

Police : Why didn't you report your stolen Credit Card ? Santa : The thief is spending less than my Wife... 😂 😂 ...

Young Engineer and Boss

4:02 AM No comments

A young Engineer was leaving the office at 5:45pm, when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in the hand. "Listen this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you made this thing work? asked the CEO "certainly," said the Engineer. He turned on the machine, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, Excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy." Lesson: NEVER, Never, Never, ever assume that your Boss...

?+?+?+?80+90=100

10:44 PM No comments

Who can solve this quiz ? ?+?+?+?80+90=100 . . . . . . Answer: Akar Bakar Bumbay Bo, 80 + 90 puray 100 ! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏...

Height of getting lucky

5:24 AM No comments

Height of getting lucky My neighbor's wife texted me, "I am new on whatsapp... Any idea what does IDK, LY, TTYL mean...?" I replied : "I don't know, Love You, Talk To You Later !" She replied : "No problem. I'll ask you later... Love you too..." 😜😅...

Gujarati Funeral ..... Excellent one...

4:56 AM No comments

Gujarati Funeral ..... Excellent one... A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US . It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters: Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Neetaben and Varsha, I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home...

One day the people that didn't believe in you, will tell

3:06 PM No comments

The Ultimate Inspiration & Motivation: "One day, the people that didn't believe in you, will tell everyone how they met yo...

جب آپ مشکلات میں ہوتے ہیں تو آپ اکثر

5:42 AM No comments

جب آپ مشکلات میں ہوتے ہیں تو آپ اکثر سوچتے ہیں کہ اللہ کہاں ہے؟ یاد رکھیئے، امتحان کے دوران استاد ہمیشہ خاموش ہوتا ہے...

Waqt ki dosti tou har koe karta hai, maza tou tab hai jab...

5:45 AM No comments

Waqt ki dosti tou har koe karta hai, maza tou tab hai jab waqt badal jaye par dost na badle ...

Some fresh husband wife naughty bytes

4:09 AM No comments

Some fresh husband wife naughty bytes 👊👊👊👊👊😂 Wife: I hate you. Husband: What a co-incidence. 😂😂😂😂😆😆😆😆 A smart wife's note for the husband : I am going out with my friends for dinner. Your dinner is in the recipe book, on page 25 and ingredients are available at reliance Fresh. 😂😂😂😂😂😆😆😆😆 Wife: "Darling Let's Enjoy our Saturday and...

Zindagi main kamyabi Kay leeyaa Kia Karon ?

8:30 AM No comments

Aaj main nay ammi say poocha Zindagi main kamyabi Kay leeyaa Kia Karon ? Ammi baray piar say boleen Sab say pahlay pather lay & Apna mobile tour day ...

جو غلطی کر نہیں سکتا وہ فرشتہ ہے جو غلطی کر کے اُس پر

7:43 AM No comments

جو غلطی کر نہیں سکتا وہ فرشتہ ہے جو غلطی کر کے اُس پر ڈٹ جائے وہ شیطان ہے اور جو غلطی کر کے فورا توبہ کر لے وہ انسان ہ...

خامیوں کا احساس کامیابی کی کنجی ہے

3:41 AM No comments

خامیوں کا احساس کامیابی کی کنجی ہے ...

A new restaurant, named... "Topless Beauty"

3:38 AM No comments

Advertisement of a new restaurant, named.... "Topless Beauty" 1000 men visited on the very first day.... They were shocked to see that the restaurant had no roof...!!! Men will be Men Marketing is all about presentation...

میں نے اسے انگلش میں #ILoveYou کہا تواسکا جواب اردو میں

1:46 AM No comments

‏جب میں نے اسے انگلش میں #ILoveYou کہا تواسکا جواب اردو میں تھا اور جواب تھا بھاڑ میں جا ' تب اندازہ ہوا اس قوم کو تعلیم کی کتنی ضرورت ...

اسی لیےکہتا ھوں خواتین کی تعلیم ضروری ھے

1:45 AM No comments

‏اس قدر تعلیم کی کمی ھے میں نے کہا اپنا وٹس ایپ نمبر بتائیں آگے سے بولی جوتے کا نمبر بتاؤں ؟؟ اسی لیےکہتا ھوں خواتین کی تعلیم ضروری ...

جہاں جان کہنا ہوتا ہے وہاں ایک لفظ

1:44 AM No comments

‏خواتین کو تعلیم کی ضرورت ہے یہ اکثراردوغلط بول جاتی ہیں جہاں جان کہنا ہوتا ہے وہاں ایک لفظ بھائی کا اضافہ کر کے" بھائی جان "کر لیتی ہیں 😏...

Take this gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.

7:49 PM No comments

A Priest dies & is waiting in line at heavens gate. Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans. God to the guy : Who r u ? Guy : I am Karachi-Hyderabad Express Bus driver. God : Take this gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven. God to the Priest : Who r u ? Priest : I am a priest & spent 40yrs preaching good to people. God : Take this cotton robe and enter heaven. Priest : God, how come that foul mouthed, rash driver gets a gold & I spent all my life preaching good get...

آپ کے رومال سے جو کپڑا بچے گا

6:33 AM No comments

اف یہ بیویاں بیوی شاپنگ کر کے گھر آئی اور شوہر سے بولی:"دیکھئے! میں آپ کے لیے کتنا اچھا رومال لائی ہوں"َ۔ شوہر نے حیرت سے کپڑے کو دیکھا اور بولا:"اتنا بڑا رومال یہ تو کوئی چھ گز کا ہو گا"۔ بیوی بولی:"آپ کے رومال سے جو کپڑا بچے گا اس کا میں سوٹ سلوا لوں گی...

Nadeem was worried that his wife was having hearing problem

10:49 AM No comments

***Superb Story*** Nadeem was worried that his wife was having hearing problem and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. "Here's what you do,"said the Doctor, "Go home, stand about 40 feet away from her, and make a normal conversational and see if she can hear you. If not, go closer to about 30 feet, then 20 feet,...

بعض لوگ اچھا بننے کے لئے اتنی کوشش نہیں کرتے جتنی

6:27 AM No comments

بعض لوگ اچھا بننے کے لئے اتنی کوشش نہیں کرتے جتنی کہ اچھا نظر آنے کے لیے کرتے ہیں۔ Baz log acha banay Kay leeyaa itni koshish nahi kertay jitni kay acha nazer aanay Kay leeyaa kertay hain. Unkno...

اچھی نیت والوں کو سکون ڈھونڈھنا نہیں پڑتا

4:16 AM No comments

اچھی نیت والوں کو سکون ڈھونڈھنا نہیں پڑتا ان کے دل کسی اجلی صبح کی طرح اجلے اور پرسکون ہوتے ہیں...

اچھے انسان کی سب سے پہلی اور آخری نشانی

11:32 PM No comments

اچھے انسان کی سب سے پہلی اور آخری نشانی یہ ہے کہ وہ ان لوگوں کی بھی عزت کرتا ہے جن سے اسے کسی قسم کے فائدے یا مفاد کی توقع نہیں ہوتی...

l am worried about is my height and not my...

10:19 PM No comments

😄😄😄 Lady to her dietician :- What l am worried about is my height and not my weight. Doc :- How come??? Lady :- According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet... 😜 Now this is called positive attitude.. 👍👍...

A Nice Catch

2:45 AM No comments

A Nice Catch The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub. A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle. A tipsy- ooking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing. 'Fishing,' the old man said simply. 'Poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub. As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, 'And how many have you caught?' 'You're the eighth,' the old man...

Yeh kaunsa pack de diya Bhai!

12:42 AM No comments

_Man buys a pack of cigarette_ _Warning reads_ *smoking causes impotency* _Goes back to store,_ _says:_ Yeh kaunsa pack de diya Bhai! Woh cancer wala doh Men will be Men. 😂😂...

Height of...

4:28 AM No comments

Height of Fashion 👳 Lungi with a zip. Height of Laziness 😪 Asking lift for morning walk. Height of Craziness 😉 Get blank paper xerox. Height of Honesty 😌 Pregnant woman taking 2 tickets. Height of de-hydration 😔 Cow giving milk powder. Height of Hope 😒 A 99 yr. Old woman going for 295/-recharge to get lifetime incoming. Height of Stupidity 😵 Looking through key hole of a glass door. Height of Suicide Attempt 😲 A dwarf jumps from the footpath on the road. Height of friendship 😜 It’s when your friend runs away with your wife …. And you...

Poor people fail because of one common behaviour...

2:35 AM No comments

Poor people fail because of one common behaviour Their whole life is about waiting ....

"Hapiness sneaks in a door you did not think was open".

8:16 PM No comments

"Hapiness sneaks in a door you did not think was open...

ﺗﻤﮭﺎﺭﯼ ﺑﮯ ﺳﮑﻮﻧﯽ ﺧﺘﻢ ﮨﻮ ﺟﺎﺋﮯ ﮔﯽ

8:13 PM No comments

ﺟﺲ ﺩﻥ ﺗﻤﮭﯿﮟ ﯾﮧ ﻣﻌﻠﻮﻡ ﮨﻮﺟﺎﺋﮯ ﮔﺎ ﮐﮧ ﺟﻮ ﮐﺎﻡ ﺗﻤﮭﺎﺭﯼ ﻣﺮﺿﯽ ﺳﮯ ﻧﮩﯿﮟ ﮨﻮﺗﮯ ، ﻭﮦ ﺗﻤﮭﺎﺭﮮ ﻟﯿﮯ ﮐﺘﻨﮯ ﺑﮩﺘﺮ ﮨﻮﺗﮯ ﮨﯿﮟ ﺍﺱ ﺩﻥ ﺗﻤﮭﺎﺭﯼ ﺑﮯ ﺳﮑﻮﻧﯽ ﺧﺘﻢ ﮨﻮ ﺟﺎﺋﮯ ﮔﯽ...

What do you do with a mistake - recognize it...

4:11 AM No comments

"What do you do with a mistake: recognize it, admit it, learn from it, forget it." - Dean Smi...

Why send one big text when you can send...

11:16 AM No comments

Why send one big text when you can send 15 little ones in a row and be even more annoyin...

مشورہ لے کر دیکھو

10:52 AM No comments

مشورہ لے کر دیکھو کسی کا صبر دیکھنا ہو تو اس پر تنقید کرکے دیکھو کسی کا ظرف دیکھنا ہو تو اسے عزت دے کر دیکھو کسی کا خلوص دیکھنا ہو تو اس سے مشورہ لے کر دیکھو کسی کی خصلت دیکھنی ہو تو اس کے ساتھ سفر کرکے دیکھو کسی کی فطرت دیکھنی ہو تو اسے آزادی و اختیار دے کر دیک...

آج کے دور میں وہ واحد شخص ہے جو پہلے...

7:46 PM No comments

پان والے کی عزت کیجیے، کیوں کہ آج کے دور میں وہ واحد شخص ہے جو پہلے پوچھتا ہے چونا لگادوں صاحب۔...

نیند کی گولیاں وه کهاتی هے،،،،، اور سکون ...

7:44 PM No comments

ابن انشا فرماتے هیں که مجھ میں اور میری بیوی میں بڑا عجیب سا اتفاق هے _______ نیند کی گولیاں وه کهاتی هے،،،،، اور سکون مجهے ملتا هے. ...

اور سب سے مشکل کام

4:53 AM No comments

دنیا کا سب سے آسان کام دوسروں کو نصیحت کرنا ہے اور سب سے مشکل کام کسی دوسرے کی نصیحت پہ عمل کرنا ...

Feelings are much like waves, we can't...

6:13 AM No comments

Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but, we can choose which ones to sur...

زندگی کی مالا میں ایسے قیمتی موتی جمع کرو جن کی چمک سے...

7:49 PM No comments

زندگی کی مالا میں ایسے قیمتی موتی جمع کرو جن کی چمک سے سارے جہان میں روشنی پھیل جاۓ ...

کُچھ لوگ میرے لیے خزانے کی طرح ہیں ، دل کرتا ۔ ۔ ۔ !!!

1:12 PM No comments

کُچھ لوگ میرے لیے خزانے کی طرح ہیں ، دل کرتا ہے زمین میں گاڑ دوں کمینوں کو ۔ ۔ ۔ !...

Pakeeza aur Jazib-e-nazar Chehrey

12:56 PM No comments

Baaz logun ki soch ki khubsurti in ke aam se chehre ko pakeeza or jazib-nazar bana deti ha...

About learning to dance in the rain.

8:45 PM No comments

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rai...

Sometimes you can't explain what you see in a...

8:39 PM No comments

"Sometimes you can't explain what you see in a person. It's just the way they take you to a place, no one else can...

Raise your words, not your...

11:36 AM No comments

Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunde...

Akbar asked Birbal to look for five biggest idiots in his state and...

10:39 AM No comments

In search of Five Idiots: Akbar asked Birbal to look for five biggest idiots in his state and produce them in his court within a month. After a month's extensive search operations, Birbal brought to the court only two persons. "But I asked for five", Akbar angrily asked. "Give me a chance to present them one by one", Birbal pleaded and went on to present his idiots: "Maharaj, this man, while travelling in a bullock cart, was keeping his luggage on his head so as not to hurt the bullocks. He is the first idiot. Pointing to the second man Birbal...

A genie appeared in the dream of a woman...

9:34 AM No comments

A genie appeared in the dream of a woman. "Whatever you want, just ask " it said. "My husband’s eyes should be only on me during all waking hours." "And then ..?" "He should not be concerned with anything else in life except me." "And then?" "He should never sleep without me by his side." "And then ..?" "When he wakes up in the morning he should only see my face first." "And then ..?" "He should not go anywhere without me." "And then ..?" "If there is even a single scratch on me, he should go crazy with grief." "And then ..?" "That's it." And,...